Sunday, August 23, 2009

Social Consciousness

This morning Jon and I headed for breakfast at Maxwell market so that he could grab some soup to make his flu like symptoms better. On the way there we met a very disciplined and polite BMW M5 driver. Usually the drivers of the M5 tend to fall within a classification - yuppies. And since they now have a powerful machine in their hands that seem to justify their superiority to the general populus, they also tend to wield it with the same way they treat the rest of the populus - with scorn and little respect. So imagine my surprise when this driver, from behind me, signaled left to get out of my lane to overtake me, signaled right to get in front of me, all in a very controlled manner. None of those reckless i wanna eat you up you slowpoke kinda behavior. So since i was being overtaken i went along my slow-poke ways til we neared the CTE exit at Merchant Court, where somehow i had ended up in front of him due to a lane closure. So from the first lane, i see him signal left to cut to the 2nd lane, and then turn off signals and signaled left again til he reached the 4th lane to exit. As the initial part of the exit also

Unknown at 10:40 pm

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Reflections

Haven't blogged in ages, neither have i sat down to properly collect my thoughts to write into a post. Now my thoughts are regurgitated on a daily basis at the end of the day with Jon. Maybe it'll be good to start blogging on a more regular basis again.

Recently i've seen some of my jewelry crafting contemporaries moving ahead of me in terms of materials usage, pricing of jewelry. While mine is still more or less similar to when i first started. Soemtimes i feel sad that i'm not moving within the league at the same pace, but work does consume a fair bit of my time. But working in my industry does have it's perks, at least now i know where i can improve on and how to improve, while previously it'll be a scatter brained attempt in guessing as well as just thinking that oh that'll be sufficient afterall i'm just a crafter. Now i know better.

Sometimes i complain about my client's bad habits, but i'm equally like that when i'm handling my shop. Once in a while i wonder if i'm being too hard on them and not understanding enough of their situations. Sure we're dealing with at least 6-digit budgets, while mine is most probably 3-digit, but some of the problems they face are kinda similar. Although more so for me, since i have to fork out the money and make sure i have that kind of money in the bank.

Realities sink in huh.

Unknown at 9:55 pm

Monday, May 11, 2009

Work & Life

Haven't blogged in ages. I've gotten more comfortable in my work. The steep learning curve is gone, so things are a lot more manageable. Now it's more of bursts of activity that keeps me working late. But no longer that feeling of being overwhelmed. Which is good. But that begs the next question. When should I leave. And if I leave and reach another place that hits me with another huge learning curve to stay for a while to leave. What am i getting out of it?

Sure there's that stretching that leads to growth, but i also want to apply and feel good that i'm on top of things. Not always moving, only to be scrambling and then when i'm on top of things move again. Will work always be like that? Oh well. We'll see how it goes.

Missing a few things now:
Money
I just realised how terribly broke I am, and it's only 2 weeks into the month, something's gone really wrong this month with my finances

A good clubbing session
I'm always broke when i really want to club. What's up with that man. But i really wanna drink hard liquor til i'm silly. Haven't had that feeling in ages.

A new pair of sunglasses
I suspect the $20 pair that i have is bad for my eyes. Yeah the real Raybans would do me well.

A new digital camera
A compact is fine, i won't be able to bust a dSLR with the current overheads i have. But this will have to wait a lot longer.

Time to make more jewelry
Yeah the only thing that keeps me sane, and gives me some spare cash.

Just realised that 45% of my pay goes to something i cannot touch. Monthly-must-pays. I'm actually no better than when I was working in the IT company doing software testing after poly. Need a pay raise really soon. Otherwise this is gonna get really depressing.

I hate to whine, but unfortunately I'm so compelled by my situation to blog about it. I do however blog more often on my EA blog with pretty pictures. Thankfully. Otherwise i'll be really pathetic, sounding like one of those namby pamby girls who only whine & rant about their days. Oh well who cares, why do I need to justify mself anyway right? Lol.

Unknown at 12:39 am

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Present!





We celebrated our 1st year anniversary yesterday, even though it was on the 28th. Being the very pragmatic couple we have decided to celebrate it on the last friday of Jan every year so that we'll definitely be able to get time off and don't have to worry about work the next morning. The dinner at Absolute Haven was incredible, at an affordable $49+ (7% GST only) you get a 4-course dinner with top quality ingredients. You can taste the heart and soul the chef puts into the food. It's really a rare find to get such good food at such affordable prices. And i also got a present from the wonderful bf, a J-Fold zipper wallet to replace the Burberry wallet!! :) And damask wrapping paper (i love damask) in a very nice Paperchase paper bag. :D But my biggest present is having him in my life. The fun we have, the silly inside jokes, the conversations we have about everything and anything, our similarity in expensive tastes and many other things.

Unknown at 9:58 am

Slave or Master?

Humans should not be at the mercy of work, but work at the mercy of our hands. You decide if you are the master or the slave.

Unknown at 9:57 am

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Skinnies swimming

I've been so sick that i spent at least 3.5 days bed ridden and the remaining 1.5 days dazed, stoned and not very lucid. Finally i feel a lot better. This bout of viral flu is a killer man, in half a morning it struck and i was rendered pretty much a zombie right after. Not the best way to get a long weekend at all. Now that i finally feel better, tomorrow's back to work. The first week of 2009 just passed me like that, surreal man. And of course i missed my weekend. Not the best thing to start the year with. Have to get back to speed with things at work right when i step into office tomorrow. Bleargh.

And the lovely skinnies that Jon bought for me as a Xmas present? Post viral flu, i'm swimming in them. Forget about the New York Slimming Professionals, just get yourself a good dose of viral flu. It'll do you some good.

Unknown at 9:58 pm

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Integers?

I hope i never have to utter this to people around me, except in exasperation or in complaint of someone else beyond this group. That is I find it utterly sad that some people need to seek validation in work. They work long and hard hours, thinking that's the way things are. Not if you choose to voice it out. Be it through personally to your superiors, or through leaving and telling them the reason you left as just so.

I'm not saying slacking off and just go not do work. But there's work everyday and there will always be things that need to be done. If you're always rushing for something, then something is not right. Someone's either screwing around with your timelines (which you need to wrench back the control from) or someone's got the organization screwed. If that's the case, no point staying in that place longer. A position is just for you to boast, and to secretly console yourself that the money will make it all that much better. Yes you can now buy tons of branded bags, but find yourself trying so hard to eke out time from work to meet your friends. Afterall, the bags can be disposed of, while the friends will stay around yes?

I can only say that to validate your existence through work, is arguably the saddest thing anyone can do. And accepting to work longer hours, means you're underequipped for the job, or being underpaid to do waay too many things beyond the scope. Either way, get the hell out.

Yes it's 2009, we need to make some things change. Employers need to realise staff are not integers you flick off the charts, these are humans, for god's sake.

Unknown at 12:58 am

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Father Time

After the bustling crowd at Marina Square, i requested for a quiet dinner after we dropped my brother off. So we headed to Dempsey with a good steak in mind. After we parked the car and walked right into CA California and the cold air blistering our skins, a warm pasta seemed a lot more inviting than a good steak. So we ordered a hearty tomato soup, steak sandwich, turkey ham pasta and accompanying wines. At an affordable rate, i didn't expect anything beyond the norm, but the food surprised us greatly. The hearty tomato soup was filled with carrots, zucchini and tomato chunks, the steak sandwich was tasty and my pasta had hand pulled turkey ham and mushrooms that was accompanied by a rose wine that served in addition to warm my stomach with the freshly cooked pasta. Albeit i was lucky as they had just finished their pasta and i had to wait just that bit more to get freshly cooked food. The food was well portioned, so we had enough space to have 2 cakes, a mango raspberry slice & a hot fudge mud pie. Yummilicious, remember all this was in quiet (ok lah there was a Korean family that sat directly behind us, but they weren't coarse and rowdy) with the cold winds stinging our skin. I don't think i can ask for more. We headed over to Dome for a cup of long black and a pot of green tea. I think the 2 hour dinner has already made my one week leave well worth it.

Add that my family is out of town, jon is over to stay to hug me to bed in the cold nights. No work to look forward to, no clients that'll hassle me. Luxury of time to do the things i want to do at my own pace. I think that is all i truly want.

Unknown at 12:22 am

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Toffee Nut Frappucino = Joy

Over the last few weeks, things have turned topsy turvy, so many questions, i wonder if i really wanna know the answer.

Grandfather's diagnosed with lung cancer, waiting for staging confirmation. Dr's have suspected with the rapid mutation in cells and abnormal growth, it should be in the 4th stage. Before the staging was done, i thought that being in the 1st & 4th is the best position to be in. 2nd & 3rd is just prolonged suffering with no relief to be sought anytime soon. Reality is as such, i wonder if it's just our projection that we think he'd be better off with lesser suffering or if he'd really want more time. After reading the euthanasia articles over the weekend, i'm not so sure.

Parents had a major quarrel, which led me to realise that at every age, no matter the fact that they are our parents, they are still in a relationship. A relationship will always require maintenance, understanding and growth. And yes they can be equally immature at handling their problems.

If there's any consolation to what happened the week before, is that the Starbucks Toffee Nut Frappucino is back. I guess i will contend myself with that cup of ice cold drink that can bring me so much joy. Some people place happiness in money, i place happiness in what money can buy me - lots of good food to feed my depraved soul. Fortunately i'm a simple creature, fulfill my basic needs and i'm a happy camper.

Unknown at 12:42 am

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Photography - Mastery of Light

Went up to KL for a work trip this weekend with Mark Law & Celia Teh (the very famous model when we were growing up). I think i was reading my aunt's Her World through my gawky teenhood. No airs at all from the pair of them, one's a leading fashion photographer & the other's a famous home grown model who made it big on the international scene. Both really uber nice people and a truly sweet couple.

So-so work trip, not that super busy, thankfully, with enough time for me to catch up on sleep and walk around to concur that KL's not a really fun place, especially since i don't count shopping as my hobby, ok, except bead shopping (but that's work so it still doesn't count).

Was re-enlightened about photography, that at the end photography is about light patterns, and the shadows they cast. Re-looked at some of the shots i've taken, they may be not bad, but now i know there are things i wanna improve. One is to have mastery over light. It means, i need to start controlling the daylight streaming into my room and onto my bed (where i take most of my pictures when there's sufficient light). Now is to figure out how to do that, afterall daylight has it's own mind. I need to up one level. Does this mean i need to buy a dSLR? RAWR.

Personally i saw how with the adjustment of exposure levels, allowed the light to come into the sensor and capture really lovely photos. My client showed me exactly how it was done, through a comparison based on normal setting with backlight (took a totally underexposed shot), adjustment of exposure level (picture became properly lit) & adjustment of white balance (super nice picture). I really should get the pictures and upload them here with the step by step explanation. All this while i had not moved at all. Given that he is quite a good photographer as well, but it did make me feel that taking good pictures doesn't seem that difficult afterall (or maybe he's that good and is giving me this false illusion). Take home lesson for this weekend - Photography is mastery of light. All the jazzy shit will not serve its purpose if you do not know how to control light.

Unknown at 11:25 pm

Monday, September 22, 2008

7 months down the road

7 months after working here, my beautiful impression of the company has changed. People go and come, and comes along the hateful thing of politicking. The basic decency that you think people would have, is simply not there, and therein comes the disappointment. I guess i can't expect too much, after all there's no perfect work place, not even if you start your own company. The life of running my own jewelry business is so attractive once again. Oh well. That is working life huh. I guess the rose tinted world appears in shades of grey and plume.

The biggest disappointment has to be the lack of basic courtesy to not disturb me when i'm on leave. 3 different colleagues calling me on my hp to ask me about things that could wait til the next day. Why do i bother working til 9pm the night before and ensuring my handover is done thoroughly. Is it like that in this industry? That even the media owners have to call me twice even though i've told them i'm on MC. This lack of common courtesy? If that is the case i seriously question how long i can stay in an industry like that. I don't demand a lot, i work long hours that i can live with and i don't ask for much, just simple basic courtesy, yet i'm not granted even a simple reprieve. Makes you wonder why the hell you bother. Next time, if people are on mc and leave, i will not be nice and kind, afterall i'll just phrase my call with "Hello XXXXXX, sorry i know you're on leave but ah, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH." and expect to be forgiven. Yay for agency efficiency.

Unknown at 12:26 am

Friday, June 27, 2008

Patience, a virtue lacking in too many & abused by too many.

This past week has been the worst week since i started working. Ultra broke, ultra constipated due to the poor diet i've had since starting to work, ultra bad skin (which is getting worse by the minute), cracking lips that are hurting me like crazy, the general not feeling well buzz that goes on when i wake up (usually dispelled after loading up on water). I'm so tempted to just take mc or leave just to rest up and get well, coz it's seriously affecting my work, but there's urgent stuff to clear so the resting's got to wait. ARGH.

When i'm this constipated and looking at my love handles, i really wish i get to eat home cooked food for dinner at normal meal times. I eat out too often, or stay at work & eat either a) McNuggets Meal or B) Nissin Cup Noodles of assorted flavours. My diet is utterly horrendous, a dietician will scream in horror. Now i don't eat fruits after lunch, compounded problem. Bleah.

On a side note, paycheque has come in and hopefully it clears before i go down to zero, which it will. Cabs to take and claim for work, and general meal expenditure. I so need meal coupons.

Unknown at 11:59 pm

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Is this how you spend your marketing dollar?

Recently i took part in this competition on Asiaone motoring website and was selected for a chauffeured ride to and from a free meal, breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on which meal you were selected for.

After complaining to several people about how the client side poorly managed it. My several gripes about the issue:

1) No basic courtesy to greet your winner
2) The segregation between winner and client
3) Myopia

Regardless of the client's or media owner's initiative, i think being from the client side you should be protective of your brand. I always believe, at every single point of contact, is a point where you could garner positive or negative points. If at that particular point you garner so many negative points, it has now turned my positive affect to your brand to a negative one. I really question your use of marketing money. What's more it's 3 out of 500 people who were selected (don't ask how come i got selected, hehehe, I'm quite lucky, hurhur) shouldn't it make you want to ensure the event is a positive experience with your brand? -shrugs- I'm sure it doesn't take a lot of effort to make sure that these 6 people are happy with the experience by greeting them while you're through your meal. Or perhaps my brother & I are the only 2 who are griping, while the rest are just happy with a free meal and ride. And just so you know, this is the #1 selling brand worldwide, I guess complacency has set in eh, or just poor selection of staffing. And no matter how much my mother likes the brand, i'll definitely try strongly to dissuade her from buying a Toyota, afterall if you're this big, you won't miss one of us. Yes my mother & i like the Yaris, but you refuse to tell me the price, afterall it is a Vios event.

After this long tirade, this is a very good lesson for me, coz i will make sure nobody on my side taints my client's brand this way. I take pride in the account i serve that way.

Unknown at 12:38 am

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sweethearts of 1 and 2 and 3

1. Goes without saying. Pandering to my every need, feeding me yums and slurps. Of course being very sexy helps. Being able to sing in a really high pitch as a back up singer for mathilda, while performing Keane's Somewhere only we know is definitely the one killer move that lets him swoop the title easily.

2. My dad brought a cup of ice cream into my room this afternoon and insisted i have it.

3. Me helping my mom hang the clothes and forgetting what i was asked to do in the first place. Lol. Silly me.

Unknown at 10:10 pm

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Rhetorics

The irony is, the sweet little boy did talk to her and my heart twitched a little. I also looked at it from a 3rd person perspective, trying to figure out what kind of a strange creature i am. I really dunno what am i doing this for, afterall their relationship has ended. Maybe i just want to reaffirm my status that i am a nice person, big and magnanimous.

Women are such strange creatures, almost fathomable. Maybe because we can't see beyond our actions and its consequences that it may bring. Our innate ability to weave emotions into every little single action. Our maybe it is just me.

But if you look at it for the sake of her, maybe my suggestion wasn't the most helpful thing. What she really does need is to get him out of her system. But the next question then begs, can we ever get anyone out of our system, or do we simply replace it with memories of another.

But who am i to judge what's best for her eh. But happy is as happy goes. Why turn myself into any other predictable petty woman, when i am so not such a person. Silly me. My only hope is that, he's doing it not just to make me feel happy, but at least for some personal reasons of trying to keep a friendship because there was a friendship worth keeping, or something along those lines.

Although it still beats me why that was the immediate reaction. I have no idea, no idea at all.

Unknown at 1:42 am

Monday, May 19, 2008

Realisations on human relationships

I always wondered why my dad would agree willingly to something i requested, while reject with a dozen reasons why not to the very same thing my mother asked for. At the end of the day no matter what blood relations or reasons that tie you and another person together, the basis for people willingly to do things for you, is the building up of good will and brownie points. It's also got to do with the personality of the person requesting for it. If you have a track record of using emotional blackmail to get what you want, you're erasing whatever brownie points you used to have, and at a phenomenal rate. Trust me, the irritating little way you try to weasel people to do things for you, has a way of biting you in your ass.

We always say we hate certain qualities or characteristics of a person from a past relationship but when you meet another, you revel in the very same quality that you dislike and sometimes display it to a nauseating effect on others. It is the person, not the trait. Afterall we all bear similar traits, but in varying degrees. When you've run out of brownie points, you truly are running on empty.

Unknown at 10:10 pm

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Why so much anger?

Forgiveness is something i can no longer grant. The weird part is it took so long for the anger to finally hit me and then decide that this is something i cannot ever forgive. How silly i was to give in, only because i wanted it so badly. Only for one reason, to say it was mine even if it wasn't totally mine. Yes when i want to be cruelly selfish i can be. I wonder which is worse to be cruelly selfish at that point of time or to no longer be able to grant forgiveness to someone who has betrayed my trust. Although it is the same difference to me. Just a question i'm pondering over.

And in fact i'll say this now, if ever Jon betrays me, i will not trust men ever again. This i'm quite sure of. Although i know he won't. But just stating the firm stand i have towards men and cheating. But then again think about it, if he were to really cheat, it doesn't matter to him what my stand is. Hahahahah.

Unknown at 1:15 am

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Q1 reflection

Been sick for almost 2 weeks, first the flu, then sore throat, and i'm finally left with some remnants of a hacking cough. Hopefully it'll all clear up in 3 days time.

Work has been fascinating to say the least, then a restructure and i took the freedom with a slightly lesser workload a bit way too far, but hey i ought to leave office early so that i can rest since i'm sick. I'll hunker down next week and hopefully it hasn't left a bad impression. I also need to stick some golden rules into my head, carelessness, the lack of a need for perfection. Work is work, but if i want to get ahead and climb up above others, i need to be something else the rest aren't. Anyways i know better now, won't procrastinate and just get the hang of things quicker rather than dipping my toe into the pond.

Celebrated Jon's band mate's birthday, had some rather interesting conversations and realise how out of depth i was with regards to day to day politics. Gotta sharpen up and read more. Feeling stupid is good, at least it prompts me into action.

Gotta say being with Jon has acutely increased my analytical skills, but i'm still really far off, also the 2-3yrs of not updating myself with the world has been really detrimental. Oddly i'm sharper when i'm working than when i'm studying and had so much free time in the world. *shrug* lots of new perspectives since the beginning of 2008. So much so i find it really fascinating, i guess i am growing each day, which is ultimately good. Guess 2008 has been a truly good year for me. For the most part it's been fantastic. I guess it could also be my grandma looking out for me. Hopefully in 8 months time i can still say the same.

Unknown at 1:25 am

Monday, April 07, 2008

Bouts of insecurity attacks for no apparent reason. Maybe because it means so much more to me now than ever.

This lack of sleep is not good for me.

Unknown at 11:29 pm

Sunday, March 16, 2008

1, 2 buckle my shoe

Well work's been busy. I've also brought work home this weekend. No biggie for me, just need to get it done and upload some earrings and bracelets made for the week. Otherwise life's pretty good. Quite looking forward to the coming long weekend and payday. I've got a few things that i wanna buy. Also to sort out my finances before payday. Quite a bit of things to settle outside of work. But once the structure is in place, I will be able relax.

Currently listening to: Feist - When I was a young girl

When I was a young girl I used to seek pleasure
When I was a young girl I used to drink ale
Out of the ale house down into the jail house
My body's salvated and hell is my doom

Come mama come papa and sit you down by me
Come sit you down by me and pity my case
My poor head is aching my sad heart in breaking
My body's salvating and hell is my doom

Please send for the preacher to come and pray for me
And send for the doctor to heal all my wounds
My poor head is aching my sad heart in breaking
My body's salvating and I'm bound to die

One morning one morning one morning in may
I saw this young lady all wraped in white linen
All wraped in white linen and called out "the plague"

Kinda like the tune and loopy voice to it.

Unknown at 2:09 pm