Wednesday, March 24, 2004
90/10 Secret
by Rashid.A.V.
We really have no control over 10% of what
happens to us. We cannot stop
the car from breaking down. The plane may be
late arriving, which throws
our whole schedule off. A driver may cut us off
in traffic. We have no
control over this 10%. The other 90% is
different. You determine the
other 90%!
How?
By your reaction.
Let's use an example....
You're eating breakfast with your family. Your
daughter knocks over a
cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have
no control over what
just happened. What happens next will be
determined by how you react.
You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the
coffee cup over. She
breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you
turn to your spouse and
criticize her for placing the cup too close to
the edge of the table. A
short verbal battle follows. You storm upstairs
and change your shirt.
Back downstairs you find your daughter has been
too busy crying to
finish breakfast and get ready for school - she
misses the bus. Your
spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush
to the car and drive
your daughter to school. Because you are late,
you drive 40 miles an
hour in a 30 mph speed limit.
You have a miserable day at work but are not
sure why everything seems
to go wrong. You look forward to going home.
When you arrive home you
find small wedge in your relationship with your
spouse and daughter.
Why?
Because of how you reacted in the morning.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it?
B) Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did your colleagues cause it?
D) Did you cause it?
The answer is D.
You had no control over what happened with the
coffee. How you reacted
in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have
and should have happened. Coffee splashes over
you. Your daughter is
about to cry. You gently say "It's OK honey, you
just need to be more
careful next time".
Grabbing a towel you rush upstairs. After
grabbing a new shirt and your
briefcase. You come back down in time look
through the window and see
your child getting on the bus. She turns and
waves. You and your spouse
kiss before you both go to work. You arrive 5
minutes early and
cheerfully greet the staff. Your boss comments
on how good of day you
are having. Notice the difference. Two different
scenarios. Both started
the same, but ended differently.
Why?
Because of how you REACTED.
Here are some ways to apply the 90/10 secret:
If someone says something negative about you, do
not be a sponge. Let
the attack roll off like water on glass. You
don't have to let the
negative comment affect you! React properly and
it will not ruin your
day. A wrong reaction could result in losing a
friend, being fired,
getting stressed out, etc.
How do you react if someone cuts you off in
traffic? Do you lose your
temper? Pound the steering wheel? Does your
blood pressure skyrocket? Do
you try and bump them? WHO CARES if you arrive
ten seconds later at
work? Why let the other driver ruin your day?
The plane is late. It is going to mangle your
schedule for the day. Why
take out your frustration on the flight
attendant? She has no control
over what is going on. Use your time to study,
get to know the other
passengers, etc. Why get stressed out?
You now know the 90-10 secret - apply it and you
will be amazed at the
results!
Unknown at 12:09 am