Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Lessons Learnt
1. Don't allow the relationship to swallow you whole. You neglect your friends, you stop having a life, you also stop having fun outside of the relationship, you have nothing to bring back to the relationship. You start depending on your boyfriend to be your source of fun and entertainment, in time he'll get bored of being your monkey. You lose your identity and the person that you were before you guys got together. Looking back I don't think I was fun to hang around after a while. Especially since i didn't even go out often to have things to talk about.
2. Communicate, communicate, communicate. This though is an art which I haven't mastered, when I do i'll let y'all know. There were many times when I kept quiet, because i didn't wanna sound like I was being fussy. I still don't know if i will open my mouth if the same thing rings round again, but what my aunt said is that you should just bring it up, it's also to validate your feelings, and understand each other better. Whether it really was an issue worth arguing about, at least both of you know how each other are feeling and subsequently think about the issue, then you learn about each other. This is something that I have to really drill into my head, coz I know i'll have a tendency to grin and bear it if it ever comes again.
I suppose these are the 2 biggest issues and lessons learnt which will carry on across to other relationships, on top of our incompatibility in other areas. In short you know why we broke up. By now i'm generally fine, to be able to blog about it. So you guys don't really have to worry about me. =) Amazingly I can switch on and off very quickly, it's good and bad. But right now, i think it's a good thing.
I learnt quite a lot about myself through this break up, a lot of flaws that I need to correct. A painful lesson, but my life is still long and this lesson will serve me well. I also know who are my friends who'll pick me up when I'm down and I'm truly grateful for them.
It's amazing how I can summarise and compartmentalise everything in such a short period of time. Maybe i am wired like a guy, yet i'm a girl inside. I used to deny being a gu niang, but now, I know there are many sides to me and i'm everything all at once. =)
Let me revel in my singlehood once again. The air is fresh and the grass is green.
Unknown at 2:17 am