Something wrong with my stomach today, have no idea if it's food poisoning or gastric or both. Ah well, hopefully i get better by tomorrow coz we're going to night safari and i'll have ben jerry's at the zoo if the store is still open. Was going through the tutorial worksheet for counselling, where this "client" comes in and we're supposed to write case notes for him. Somehow most of the things that he was going through is so similar to what i'm going through right now. It's just so wierd, but funnily it gave me insight into his problems that perhaps if i wasn't feeling like that i wouldn't be able to have access to it. Which leaves me in a quandary, because if i can solve his problem, it also implies i can solve my own problems right? Only half apparently, because at the end we came up with a case plan which had him going through all those training stuff. So unless i get external help, otherwise i won't quite be able to help myself. And then the question of do i think i really need help? Haha, it's so wierd. I don't know how to say this.

Then the question of my friend who's going through depression, it's like here i am equipped with these skills which i am supposed to be able to rely upon to help my friend, if only for a bit. But i never get down to making the call for lunch because here i am facing my own problems and feeling so lost that i don't know if i can be her pillar of support. Sigh. The quarrel a few weeks back also left me feeling so jittery and unsettled that i'm slipping into a mode of paranoia whenever something small slips up. It's like i can self-diagnose what's happening to me, and if it would have happened to a friend, i'd most probably recommend them to see a counsellor or something, but yet, i keep trying to deny that i have a problem and that i can handle it on my own. Simply ironic.