Friday, August 26, 2005
Dynamics of Friendship
[editted]
In a group of friends, it's always natural to be closer to one particular person as compared to the rest, but what qualifies the dynamics for this? Is it the similarity in thinking and personality? Is it the sense of humour that both of you share? Is it that this person is so kind and caring towards you that you feel that you love him/her more than the rest? Or is it by chance you both had the opportunity to spend more time together, therefore developing a friendship deeper than the rest?
Someone asked me earlier, who's x closer to in the group? And who are you closer to in the group? After saying that I haven't really been talking to x lately. I said I was closer to x but it did not neccessarily have to equate that we talk a lot. I think as we grow older, the upkeep of a friendship becomes very different. In the past, it meant going out together, all the time, talking all the time. Yeah, basically all the time you had you spent on this person. Almost like a boyfriend or girlfriend. Now, due to my increasing laziness, or a lack of want in communicating with others, the upkeep of friendships meant meeting up whenever we can, and then catching up. That's it, even though i may see them online, it does not mean i will end up talking to them. Considering that i'm actually at my computer most of the time, even when my MSN status is set to busy. Sometimes even bored to tears but i just end up not clicking on that person's name and initiating a chat. Sometimes it's due to the replies of the person on MSN being a little more distant than I like, so I end up preferring to chat with them face to face, even though that's a lot
less[edit] frequent than I really like, call me finicky, but yeah.
I also realised that due to that finicky element of my personality, I end up pretty distant from most of my friends. I know that some of them in the group would go out together, be it in pairs of whatever. And i tend to usually just appear in group meetups. Maybe it's school work, maybe it's because i am distant from most, maybe it's me refusing the invitations at times, maybe it's lack of time. I don't neccessarily feel upset about it, because that is just me (which at times I feel needs to be worked on).
Then there's the frequency of the meetups, which seemed to be observed to be affected by the number of attached people in the group. The inversely proportional relationship struck me a little, but i think it's a coincidence, but it would definitely be interesting to observe over time. I could definitely talk more about it, but let's not jump to conclusions. I've already had a disagreement with my friends this week, don't wanna start losing all my friends now don't we. A mini abrasion of egos I call it. But I still love you. Cheers.
Unknown at 11:08 pm