Tuesday, June 14, 2005

please spare our ears if you'd be kind enough

I always find it silly to argue over the difference in opinions. Especially in couples. There are 2 ways of arguing:

1. Arguing to say that you're right and everyone in the whole world is wrong ('cept for the ppl who think like u, even though it may be for different and perhaps wrong reasons)
2. Arguing for the reason why it is correct, not why you are correct

Now although the two ways sound pretty similar the motives behind it is different, and therefore generally the first method tends to lead to more friction between people and also render you as a pigheaded, obtuse prick. The 2nd method is a more civilised and open-minded way of putting forth your ideas across. That means you state your argument and why it is so and accepting that there is difference in the opposition's opinion and perhaps in the process learn the reasoning for his/her argument/point. In fact you should learn the reasoning behind the other person's point, otherwise u fall back in the category one. In fact the 2nd method is more like debating, no losers, both winners. win-win i like.

And so if people in a relationship don't argue but debate their points in a more open-minded manner, unlike those ugly potshots people take at their partners in the heat of the moment, you gain a better understanding of your partner without pissing him/her off. Life might then be a little better for the rest of the world. Imagine the aftermath of a quarrel, bf/gf bitches to buddy/gfs, i agree that it's fun to have things to yak about to your friends but sometimes certain things are pretty pointless and we could do a lot less with in our lives. And certain trivialities, i'm too impatient or uncaring to listen. And i'll bet soon my friends will stop sharing their stories with me thinking that i don't wanna bother with them. sigh, guess i lose again huh.

I do understand that the above argument is a little flawed and there are quite a few loopholes and points that i did not address but forgive me it's 5:33am and i have a stomachache. The only straight thing i can think about is the line of path from my bedroom to the kitchen toilet.

Oh and just as a sidenote, stating my case as above does not mean that i do agree wholly with what i said, but i am stating a case & my pov just for the argument, which i personally feel is the way a person ought to argue.

Unknown at 5:33 am