Sunday, February 20, 2005
As i read more and more about another person's life and how people have come to judge me, i wonder if it was all worth it. Maybe if i didn't trust him right from the start, this wouldn't have happened right? It's affecting me more than i thought it would and in ways that are so horrible i'm beginning to lose my sense of self. Ah fuck i was the silly idiot who went head into the pool so i have to do this to myself now, either swim up or drown. But this time drowning looks so much closer than swimming up. I've never felt this way before. Was i right or was i wrong? Or maybe i'm just an idiot. Where am i?
Who's seeing my side of the story? Someone's life has picked up and gone while mine is running backwards in a pace so blindingly fast that no one can understand.
Friend's don't heal this gap coz the ones i'm close to aren't around and when they're around i don't feel like sharing. I look at myself and see no such person as dawne. I'm just an empty shell, misunderstood and very alone.
Unknown at 2:42 am