Thursday, May 22, 2003
yesterday i pasted my blog's url to him to show him the 2nd last entry. I dunno why i did that, but i guess a part of me wanted to show him that i still want him back and another part wants him to noe that i wasn't that unhappy with him all the time. I hope it has helped me in the healing process. I wanna heal on my own. Most of the time I wasn't that hurt so I guess this is one major heartbreak in my life. I want to learn how to get over a person(haha to me this is new). I dunno if what I'm doing is right or wrong but there's no truly right or wrong in this world. I wanna be strong enough to survive on my own. I don't want another guy to come into the picture to mess things up, becoz i want to make it on my own. I dowan to use another guy to get over the previous guy just like wad noy said in her blog some time ago. Well at least every morning i wake up telling myself to be happy, i smile at myself in the mirror n tell myself hmm you'll have a great day today. Whether i do or not invariably doesn't matter. Coz i'm rotting everyday which can't b helped due to limited finances. heh. well actually i do have stuff to do around the house. like the hayabusa which i initially bought for him, which will soon be my next masterpiece. I wanna do that on my own, do a fantastic piece and then i can show myself that hey you dun need to do this for other people, i can do this for myself, sometimes it's alwez too much of for the other person. But when i was with him my bitchiness did tone down and i became more helpful, oddly though since he's not like that. Whatever reasons there may be it's alrite it doesn't matter, as long as i became a better person. I'll walk slowly on my own with my friends around me. N if one ady i find another guy, this time round i'll not rush into the relationship anymore.
Unknown at 12:49 pm