Monday, March 10, 2008
Dawne deep in thought
To me a perfect relationship is a balance of equals. I guess at the end of the day i sought to be treated in the same manner as i put in, or more like in terms of expectations. In Jonathan I found the balance that I've always sought for. Although in every relationship that I go into I always give my all, but this is the one relationship where even my mind goes yes this will work out. I think the matching of expectations is one of the few crucial factors that determine how successful the relationship will be. Amongst other factors such as background, values, intellect, interests. But expectations are truly the hardest to manage, coz we don't generally verbalise our expectations. If one can grasp the expectations of the other and meet it, without having to strain yourself too much, or even better is how you generally are, you've got it made more or less. It doesn't just apply to BGR or at our age, or MWR since we're sadly no longer boys and girls , but pretty much any other human relationships.
I also ask myself sometimes if I am conforming to who he is, or this is who I am. And now I see it quite clearly. Coz i definitely remember being like that for the year when I was single and not seeing anyone. That was when I was cool, hip and single. I still am cool, hip, just not so single, but still having the space to be who I am. Whee! Life is quite good to me in 2008. Just need to compartmentalise and grow everything in the right direction and pace, all within 24 hours each day!
I also don't think getting together with him so quickly is a bad thing. The fact that the relationship that failed previously was so recent, you clearly remember what is good and what is bad for you. In fact it forces you to ask a lot of difficult questions which you have to answer, not only to yourself but also the concerned people around you. I don't quite see that as bad, but i think it sets me off on a better foothold than ever. Difficult questions are like coconuts, it's really painful to crack with your hand, but once you get through the thick husk, you get to savour the sweet white flesh and juice in it. But of course I don't advocate this to everyone lah. Maybe i just enjoy being a masochist.
I should blog more often. I like the thoughts that are running through my head these days, all without having to get emo and depressive. Dawne deep in thought. Life is good.
Unknown at 2:47 am