Thursday, January 19, 2006
Fear of Death (or lack thereof)
Sometimes i wonder why i don't seem to fear death. Maybe it's my attitude towards life 'live everyday as if it were your last' taken very literally, or a result of my devil-may-care-attitude, or that the life line on my palm indicates a long life, or youthful ignorance coupled with a sense of invincibility, or that i've never really bothered if life (or should it be death?) takes me now because i have got nothing to look forward to?
Nearly a month past my accident and i'm driving like a maniac again. When i drive like that i take into considerations that i could get into an accident and this time round, my life story is stamped with 'THE END', but yet i still don't really worry too much. I am a little concerned with my lack of concern over my wellbeing, sounds kinda weird. It's hardly the invincibility of youth, because i AM mentally prepared to die, not like i think that it won't happen to me. Though what i'm not prepared for is getting into an accident, coming out mangled and being physically challenged.
Maybe i feel so comfortable with what i have in my life now, there are few challenges to conquer and push me beyond my comfort zone. No passion to fuel my life, no drive, no motivation, no aim, no goals, therefore leaving wouldn't make much of a difference to me. Yes, i am very comfortable, and i keep taking the easy way out of so many things. I've stopped trying, pushing and growing, and this isn't very much fun.
And maybe...
Unknown at 1:10 pm