Sunday, May 30, 2004
today chin fee msged me today and told me that fadly commited suicide. sounds scary. i mean i would never have expected anyone i know to commit suicide coz i noticed that most of the frenz i mixed around or knew to be those who'd treasure their lives a lot more and maybe find that life was more worth it than jumping off a building to end it all. not to say that i'm that selective but i alwez felt that they were a lot more cheery and well such depressive thoughts wouldn't occur to them. maybe i noe too little now. and to think he was found under the block where he jumped on tuesday morning and i had the scary nightmare. wonder if it was just a coincidence. not too much affected coz to be frank i nvr really talked much to him during the OBA trip. but somehow i feel a loss and also a worry. what if any of my other frenz were feeling like that now? and i didn't offer them a listening ear because i was too busy? too selfish? what might happen? kind of making me sit up and think. i really love all my frenz and if u happen to read this i have to say sorry for the little time i spend with you and for all the nasty things i've said and done(although it might just have been a joke). and if u ever need a listening ear please call me. to lose a friend by drifting away is bad enough, to lose a friend due to suicide because i didn't care will be the greatest guilt i can carry for the rest of my life. please i love you people dun do silly things alrite.
And in mortality we see the beauty of things that immortality tarnishes Unknown at 4:07 am