Sunday, July 20, 2003
went to embassy yesterday after work. the queue outside was terrible. n to get in we were worse than sardines packed in a tin. not a very nice start. everyone was drenched in perspiration before they even stepped into the club. n when u go in n u wanna get drinks. that's another human jam you have to contend with. basically the entire night was spent squeezing with many people. outside the club inside the club on the dance floor at the bar counter everywhere. cept for the toilet and the taxi queue. music wasn't to my liking. wasted $25 for nothing. n i realised if you take the cab home at 2+ the taxi drivers will alwez drive really fast. so that they can make it back to the club to earn the money of those who leave the clubs ard closing hours. even 2.45am. new trick.
realised that levi n i somehow like each other but both of us aren't saying anything to each other. usually i'd b really aggressive and by now i would most probably have confessed my feelings. but not this time. too many things to consider. might be going overseas soon. n i dun wanna lose him as a friend. now ken and i are like normal acquaintances. hi bye sorta thing. if i need help i'll ask frm him etc. i dowan to go through the pain again. it really hurts. much as i wanna act tough and pretend that i'm fine. in fact i dunno which hurts more. the fact that i like levi and yet i dun dare to let him noe. or the hurt that ken left behind. and i dun wanna treat levi as a rebound. i'm afraid of making the wrong choices. too many things happening in too short a time span. it's been nearly abt 2 mths since both of us broke off. somehow the pain still lingers. n i dunno wad to do now. feel so lost so .... confused.
Unknown at 9:42 pm