random thoughts of a disorganized mind

Social Consciousness

2009-08-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

This morning Jon and I headed for breakfast at Maxwell market so that he could grab some soup to make his flu like symptoms better. On the way there we met a very disciplined and polite BMW M5 driver. Usually the drivers of the M5 tend to fall within a classification - yuppies. And since they now have a powerful machine in their hands that seem to justify their superiority to the general populus, they also tend to wield it with the same way they treat the rest of the populus - with scorn and little respect. So imagine my surprise when this driver, from behind me, signaled left to get out of my lane to overtake me, signaled right to get in front of me, all in a very controlled manner. None of those reckless i wanna eat you up you slowpoke kinda behavior. So since i was being overtaken i went along my slow-poke ways til we neared the CTE exit at Merchant Court, where somehow i had ended up in front of him due to a lane closure. So from the first lane, i see him signal left to cut to the 2nd lane, and then turn off signals and signaled left again til he reached the 4th lane to exit. As the initial part of the exit also

Reflections

2009-06-14T21:55:00.002+08:00

Haven't blogged in ages, neither have i sat down to properly collect my thoughts to write into a post. Now my thoughts are regurgitated on a daily basis at the end of the day with Jon. Maybe it'll be good to start blogging on a more regular basis again.

Recently i've seen some of my jewelry crafting contemporaries moving ahead of me in terms of materials usage, pricing of jewelry. While mine is still more or less similar to when i first started. Soemtimes i feel sad that i'm not moving within the league at the same pace, but work does consume a fair bit of my time. But working in my industry does have it's perks, at least now i know where i can improve on and how to improve, while previously it'll be a scatter brained attempt in guessing as well as just thinking that oh that'll be sufficient afterall i'm just a crafter. Now i know better.

Sometimes i complain about my client's bad habits, but i'm equally like that when i'm handling my shop. Once in a while i wonder if i'm being too hard on them and not understanding enough of their situations. Sure we're dealing with at least 6-digit budgets, while mine is most probably 3-digit, but some of the problems they face are kinda similar. Although more so for me, since i have to fork out the money and make sure i have that kind of money in the bank.

Realities sink in huh.

Work & Life

2009-05-11T00:39:00.003+08:00

Haven't blogged in ages. I've gotten more comfortable in my work. The steep learning curve is gone, so things are a lot more manageable. Now it's more of bursts of activity that keeps me working late. But no longer that feeling of being overwhelmed. Which is good. But that begs the next question. When should I leave. And if I leave and reach another place that hits me with another huge learning curve to stay for a while to leave. What am i getting out of it?

Sure there's that stretching that leads to growth, but i also want to apply and feel good that i'm on top of things. Not always moving, only to be scrambling and then when i'm on top of things move again. Will work always be like that? Oh well. We'll see how it goes.

Missing a few things now:
Money
I just realised how terribly broke I am, and it's only 2 weeks into the month, something's gone really wrong this month with my finances

A good clubbing session
I'm always broke when i really want to club. What's up with that man. But i really wanna drink hard liquor til i'm silly. Haven't had that feeling in ages.

A new pair of sunglasses
I suspect the $20 pair that i have is bad for my eyes. Yeah the real Raybans would do me well.

A new digital camera
A compact is fine, i won't be able to bust a dSLR with the current overheads i have. But this will have to wait a lot longer.

Time to make more jewelry
Yeah the only thing that keeps me sane, and gives me some spare cash.

Just realised that 45% of my pay goes to something i cannot touch. Monthly-must-pays. I'm actually no better than when I was working in the IT company doing software testing after poly. Need a pay raise really soon. Otherwise this is gonna get really depressing.

I hate to whine, but unfortunately I'm so compelled by my situation to blog about it. I do however blog more often on my EA blog with pretty pictures. Thankfully. Otherwise i'll be really pathetic, sounding like one of those namby pamby girls who only whine & rant about their days. Oh well who cares, why do I need to justify mself anyway right? Lol.

Present!

2009-02-01T09:58:00.002+08:00

We celebrated our 1st year anniversary yesterday, even though it was on the 28th. Being the very pragmatic couple we have decided to celebrate it on the last friday of Jan every year so that we'll definitely be able to get time off and don't have to worry about work the next morning. The dinner at Absolute Haven was incredible, at an affordable $49+ (7% GST only) you get a 4-course dinner with top quality ingredients. You can taste the heart and soul the chef puts into the food. It's really a rare find to get such good food at such affordable prices. And i also got a present from the wonderful bf, a J-Fold zipper wallet to replace the Burberry wallet!! :) And damask wrapping paper (i love damask) in a very nice Paperchase paper bag. :D But my biggest present is having him in my life. The fun we have, the silly inside jokes, the conversations we have about everything and anything, our similarity in expensive tastes and many other things.

Slave or Master?

2009-02-01T09:57:00.000+08:00

Humans should not be at the mercy of work, but work at the mercy of our hands. You decide if you are the master or the slave.

Skinnies swimming

2009-01-11T21:58:00.003+08:00

I've been so sick that i spent at least 3.5 days bed ridden and the remaining 1.5 days dazed, stoned and not very lucid. Finally i feel a lot better. This bout of viral flu is a killer man, in half a morning it struck and i was rendered pretty much a zombie right after. Not the best way to get a long weekend at all. Now that i finally feel better, tomorrow's back to work. The first week of 2009 just passed me like that, surreal man. And of course i missed my weekend. Not the best thing to start the year with. Have to get back to speed with things at work right when i step into office tomorrow. Bleargh.

And the lovely skinnies that Jon bought for me as a Xmas present? Post viral flu, i'm swimming in them. Forget about the New York Slimming Professionals, just get yourself a good dose of viral flu. It'll do you some good.

Integers?

2009-01-06T00:58:00.003+08:00

I hope i never have to utter this to people around me, except in exasperation or in complaint of someone else beyond this group. That is I find it utterly sad that some people need to seek validation in work. They work long and hard hours, thinking that's the way things are. Not if you choose to voice it out. Be it through personally to your superiors, or through leaving and telling them the reason you left as just so.

I'm not saying slacking off and just go not do work. But there's work everyday and there will always be things that need to be done. If you're always rushing for something, then something is not right. Someone's either screwing around with your timelines (which you need to wrench back the control from) or someone's got the organization screwed. If that's the case, no point staying in that place longer. A position is just for you to boast, and to secretly console yourself that the money will make it all that much better. Yes you can now buy tons of branded bags, but find yourself trying so hard to eke out time from work to meet your friends. Afterall, the bags can be disposed of, while the friends will stay around yes?

I can only say that to validate your existence through work, is arguably the saddest thing anyone can do. And accepting to work longer hours, means you're underequipped for the job, or being underpaid to do waay too many things beyond the scope. Either way, get the hell out.

Yes it's 2009, we need to make some things change. Employers need to realise staff are not integers you flick off the charts, these are humans, for god's sake.

Father Time

2008-12-09T00:22:00.000+08:00

After the bustling crowd at Marina Square, i requested for a quiet dinner after we dropped my brother off. So we headed to Dempsey with a good steak in mind. After we parked the car and walked right into CA California and the cold air blistering our skins, a warm pasta seemed a lot more inviting than a good steak. So we ordered a hearty tomato soup, steak sandwich, turkey ham pasta and accompanying wines. At an affordable rate, i didn't expect anything beyond the norm, but the food surprised us greatly. The hearty tomato soup was filled with carrots, zucchini and tomato chunks, the steak sandwich was tasty and my pasta had hand pulled turkey ham and mushrooms that was accompanied by a rose wine that served in addition to warm my stomach with the freshly cooked pasta. Albeit i was lucky as they had just finished their pasta and i had to wait just that bit more to get freshly cooked food. The food was well portioned, so we had enough space to have 2 cakes, a mango raspberry slice & a hot fudge mud pie. Yummilicious, remember all this was in quiet (ok lah there was a Korean family that sat directly behind us, but they weren't coarse and rowdy) with the cold winds stinging our skin. I don't think i can ask for more. We headed over to Dome for a cup of long black and a pot of green tea. I think the 2 hour dinner has already made my one week leave well worth it.

Add that my family is out of town, jon is over to stay to hug me to bed in the cold nights. No work to look forward to, no clients that'll hassle me. Luxury of time to do the things i want to do at my own pace. I think that is all i truly want.

Toffee Nut Frappucino = Joy

2008-11-04T00:42:00.000+08:00

Over the last few weeks, things have turned topsy turvy, so many questions, i wonder if i really wanna know the answer.

Grandfather's diagnosed with lung cancer, waiting for staging confirmation. Dr's have suspected with the rapid mutation in cells and abnormal growth, it should be in the 4th stage. Before the staging was done, i thought that being in the 1st & 4th is the best position to be in. 2nd & 3rd is just prolonged suffering with no relief to be sought anytime soon. Reality is as such, i wonder if it's just our projection that we think he'd be better off with lesser suffering or if he'd really want more time. After reading the euthanasia articles over the weekend, i'm not so sure.

Parents had a major quarrel, which led me to realise that at every age, no matter the fact that they are our parents, they are still in a relationship. A relationship will always require maintenance, understanding and growth. And yes they can be equally immature at handling their problems.

If there's any consolation to what happened the week before, is that the Starbucks Toffee Nut Frappucino is back. I guess i will contend myself with that cup of ice cold drink that can bring me so much joy. Some people place happiness in money, i place happiness in what money can buy me - lots of good food to feed my depraved soul. Fortunately i'm a simple creature, fulfill my basic needs and i'm a happy camper.

Photography - Mastery of Light

2008-10-12T23:25:00.000+08:00

Went up to KL for a work trip this weekend with Mark Law & Celia Teh (the very famous model when we were growing up). I think i was reading my aunt's Her World through my gawky teenhood. No airs at all from the pair of them, one's a leading fashion photographer & the other's a famous home grown model who made it big on the international scene. Both really uber nice people and a truly sweet couple.

So-so work trip, not that super busy, thankfully, with enough time for me to catch up on sleep and walk around to concur that KL's not a really fun place, especially since i don't count shopping as my hobby, ok, except bead shopping (but that's work so it still doesn't count).

Was re-enlightened about photography, that at the end photography is about light patterns, and the shadows they cast. Re-looked at some of the shots i've taken, they may be not bad, but now i know there are things i wanna improve. One is to have mastery over light. It means, i need to start controlling the daylight streaming into my room and onto my bed (where i take most of my pictures when there's sufficient light). Now is to figure out how to do that, afterall daylight has it's own mind. I need to up one level. Does this mean i need to buy a dSLR? RAWR.

Personally i saw how with the adjustment of exposure levels, allowed the light to come into the sensor and capture really lovely photos. My client showed me exactly how it was done, through a comparison based on normal setting with backlight (took a totally underexposed shot), adjustment of exposure level (picture became properly lit) & adjustment of white balance (super nice picture). I really should get the pictures and upload them here with the step by step explanation. All this while i had not moved at all. Given that he is quite a good photographer as well, but it did make me feel that taking good pictures doesn't seem that difficult afterall (or maybe he's that good and is giving me this false illusion). Take home lesson for this weekend - Photography is mastery of light. All the jazzy shit will not serve its purpose if you do not know how to control light.

7 months down the road

2008-09-22T00:26:00.000+08:00

7 months after working here, my beautiful impression of the company has changed. People go and come, and comes along the hateful thing of politicking. The basic decency that you think people would have, is simply not there, and therein comes the disappointment. I guess i can't expect too much, after all there's no perfect work place, not even if you start your own company. The life of running my own jewelry business is so attractive once again. Oh well. That is working life huh. I guess the rose tinted world appears in shades of grey and plume.

The biggest disappointment has to be the lack of basic courtesy to not disturb me when i'm on leave. 3 different colleagues calling me on my hp to ask me about things that could wait til the next day. Why do i bother working til 9pm the night before and ensuring my handover is done thoroughly. Is it like that in this industry? That even the media owners have to call me twice even though i've told them i'm on MC. This lack of common courtesy? If that is the case i seriously question how long i can stay in an industry like that. I don't demand a lot, i work long hours that i can live with and i don't ask for much, just simple basic courtesy, yet i'm not granted even a simple reprieve. Makes you wonder why the hell you bother. Next time, if people are on mc and leave, i will not be nice and kind, afterall i'll just phrase my call with "Hello XXXXXX, sorry i know you're on leave but ah, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH." and expect to be forgiven. Yay for agency efficiency.

Patience, a virtue lacking in too many & abused by too many.

2008-06-27T23:59:00.000+08:00

This past week has been the worst week since i started working. Ultra broke, ultra constipated due to the poor diet i've had since starting to work, ultra bad skin (which is getting worse by the minute), cracking lips that are hurting me like crazy, the general not feeling well buzz that goes on when i wake up (usually dispelled after loading up on water). I'm so tempted to just take mc or leave just to rest up and get well, coz it's seriously affecting my work, but there's urgent stuff to clear so the resting's got to wait. ARGH.

When i'm this constipated and looking at my love handles, i really wish i get to eat home cooked food for dinner at normal meal times. I eat out too often, or stay at work & eat either a) McNuggets Meal or B) Nissin Cup Noodles of assorted flavours. My diet is utterly horrendous, a dietician will scream in horror. Now i don't eat fruits after lunch, compounded problem. Bleah.

On a side note, paycheque has come in and hopefully it clears before i go down to zero, which it will. Cabs to take and claim for work, and general meal expenditure. I so need meal coupons.

Is this how you spend your marketing dollar?

2008-06-24T00:38:00.002+08:00

Recently i took part in this competition on Asiaone motoring website and was selected for a chauffeured ride to and from a free meal, breakfast/lunch/dinner depending on which meal you were selected for.

After complaining to several people about how the client side poorly managed it. My several gripes about the issue:

1) No basic courtesy to greet your winner
2) The segregation between winner and client
3) Myopia

Regardless of the client's or media owner's initiative, i think being from the client side you should be protective of your brand. I always believe, at every single point of contact, is a point where you could garner positive or negative points. If at that particular point you garner so many negative points, it has now turned my positive affect to your brand to a negative one. I really question your use of marketing money. What's more it's 3 out of 500 people who were selected (don't ask how come i got selected, hehehe, I'm quite lucky, hurhur) shouldn't it make you want to ensure the event is a positive experience with your brand? -shrugs- I'm sure it doesn't take a lot of effort to make sure that these 6 people are happy with the experience by greeting them while you're through your meal. Or perhaps my brother & I are the only 2 who are griping, while the rest are just happy with a free meal and ride. And just so you know, this is the #1 selling brand worldwide, I guess complacency has set in eh, or just poor selection of staffing. And no matter how much my mother likes the brand, i'll definitely try strongly to dissuade her from buying a Toyota, afterall if you're this big, you won't miss one of us. Yes my mother & i like the Yaris, but you refuse to tell me the price, afterall it is a Vios event.

After this long tirade, this is a very good lesson for me, coz i will make sure nobody on my side taints my client's brand this way. I take pride in the account i serve that way.

Sweethearts of 1 and 2 and 3

2008-06-15T22:10:00.000+08:00

1. Goes without saying. Pandering to my every need, feeding me yums and slurps. Of course being very sexy helps. Being able to sing in a really high pitch as a back up singer for mathilda, while performing Keane's Somewhere only we know is definitely the one killer move that lets him swoop the title easily.

2. My dad brought a cup of ice cream into my room this afternoon and insisted i have it.

3. Me helping my mom hang the clothes and forgetting what i was asked to do in the first place. Lol. Silly me.

Rhetorics

2008-05-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

The irony is, the sweet little boy did talk to her and my heart twitched a little. I also looked at it from a 3rd person perspective, trying to figure out what kind of a strange creature i am. I really dunno what am i doing this for, afterall their relationship has ended. Maybe i just want to reaffirm my status that i am a nice person, big and magnanimous.

Women are such strange creatures, almost fathomable. Maybe because we can't see beyond our actions and its consequences that it may bring. Our innate ability to weave emotions into every little single action. Our maybe it is just me.

But if you look at it for the sake of her, maybe my suggestion wasn't the most helpful thing. What she really does need is to get him out of her system. But the next question then begs, can we ever get anyone out of our system, or do we simply replace it with memories of another.

But who am i to judge what's best for her eh. But happy is as happy goes. Why turn myself into any other predictable petty woman, when i am so not such a person. Silly me. My only hope is that, he's doing it not just to make me feel happy, but at least for some personal reasons of trying to keep a friendship because there was a friendship worth keeping, or something along those lines.

Although it still beats me why that was the immediate reaction. I have no idea, no idea at all.

Realisations on human relationships

2008-05-19T22:10:00.000+08:00

I always wondered why my dad would agree willingly to something i requested, while reject with a dozen reasons why not to the very same thing my mother asked for. At the end of the day no matter what blood relations or reasons that tie you and another person together, the basis for people willingly to do things for you, is the building up of good will and brownie points. It's also got to do with the personality of the person requesting for it. If you have a track record of using emotional blackmail to get what you want, you're erasing whatever brownie points you used to have, and at a phenomenal rate. Trust me, the irritating little way you try to weasel people to do things for you, has a way of biting you in your ass.

We always say we hate certain qualities or characteristics of a person from a past relationship but when you meet another, you revel in the very same quality that you dislike and sometimes display it to a nauseating effect on others. It is the person, not the trait. Afterall we all bear similar traits, but in varying degrees. When you've run out of brownie points, you truly are running on empty.

Why so much anger?

2008-04-29T01:15:00.000+08:00

Forgiveness is something i can no longer grant. The weird part is it took so long for the anger to finally hit me and then decide that this is something i cannot ever forgive. How silly i was to give in, only because i wanted it so badly. Only for one reason, to say it was mine even if it wasn't totally mine. Yes when i want to be cruelly selfish i can be. I wonder which is worse to be cruelly selfish at that point of time or to no longer be able to grant forgiveness to someone who has betrayed my trust. Although it is the same difference to me. Just a question i'm pondering over.

And in fact i'll say this now, if ever Jon betrays me, i will not trust men ever again. This i'm quite sure of. Although i know he won't. But just stating the firm stand i have towards men and cheating. But then again think about it, if he were to really cheat, it doesn't matter to him what my stand is. Hahahahah.

Q1 reflection

2008-04-13T01:25:00.000+08:00

Been sick for almost 2 weeks, first the flu, then sore throat, and i'm finally left with some remnants of a hacking cough. Hopefully it'll all clear up in 3 days time.

Work has been fascinating to say the least, then a restructure and i took the freedom with a slightly lesser workload a bit way too far, but hey i ought to leave office early so that i can rest since i'm sick. I'll hunker down next week and hopefully it hasn't left a bad impression. I also need to stick some golden rules into my head, carelessness, the lack of a need for perfection. Work is work, but if i want to get ahead and climb up above others, i need to be something else the rest aren't. Anyways i know better now, won't procrastinate and just get the hang of things quicker rather than dipping my toe into the pond.

Celebrated Jon's band mate's birthday, had some rather interesting conversations and realise how out of depth i was with regards to day to day politics. Gotta sharpen up and read more. Feeling stupid is good, at least it prompts me into action.

Gotta say being with Jon has acutely increased my analytical skills, but i'm still really far off, also the 2-3yrs of not updating myself with the world has been really detrimental. Oddly i'm sharper when i'm working than when i'm studying and had so much free time in the world. *shrug* lots of new perspectives since the beginning of 2008. So much so i find it really fascinating, i guess i am growing each day, which is ultimately good. Guess 2008 has been a truly good year for me. For the most part it's been fantastic. I guess it could also be my grandma looking out for me. Hopefully in 8 months time i can still say the same.

2008-04-07T23:29:00.000+08:00

Bouts of insecurity attacks for no apparent reason. Maybe because it means so much more to me now than ever.

This lack of sleep is not good for me.

1, 2 buckle my shoe

2008-03-16T14:09:00.000+08:00

Well work's been busy. I've also brought work home this weekend. No biggie for me, just need to get it done and upload some earrings and bracelets made for the week. Otherwise life's pretty good. Quite looking forward to the coming long weekend and payday. I've got a few things that i wanna buy. Also to sort out my finances before payday. Quite a bit of things to settle outside of work. But once the structure is in place, I will be able relax.

Currently listening to: Feist - When I was a young girl

When I was a young girl I used to seek pleasure
When I was a young girl I used to drink ale
Out of the ale house down into the jail house
My body's salvated and hell is my doom

Come mama come papa and sit you down by me
Come sit you down by me and pity my case
My poor head is aching my sad heart in breaking
My body's salvating and hell is my doom

Please send for the preacher to come and pray for me
And send for the doctor to heal all my wounds
My poor head is aching my sad heart in breaking
My body's salvating and I'm bound to die

One morning one morning one morning in may
I saw this young lady all wraped in white linen
All wraped in white linen and called out "the plague"

Kinda like the tune and loopy voice to it.

Dawne deep in thought

2008-03-10T02:47:00.001+08:00

To me a perfect relationship is a balance of equals. I guess at the end of the day i sought to be treated in the same manner as i put in, or more like in terms of expectations. In Jonathan I found the balance that I've always sought for. Although in every relationship that I go into I always give my all, but this is the one relationship where even my mind goes yes this will work out. I think the matching of expectations is one of the few crucial factors that determine how successful the relationship will be. Amongst other factors such as background, values, intellect, interests. But expectations are truly the hardest to manage, coz we don't generally verbalise our expectations. If one can grasp the expectations of the other and meet it, without having to strain yourself too much, or even better is how you generally are, you've got it made more or less. It doesn't just apply to BGR or at our age, or MWR since we're sadly no longer boys and girls , but pretty much any other human relationships.

I also ask myself sometimes if I am conforming to who he is, or this is who I am. And now I see it quite clearly. Coz i definitely remember being like that for the year when I was single and not seeing anyone. That was when I was cool, hip and single. I still am cool, hip, just not so single, but still having the space to be who I am. Whee! Life is quite good to me in 2008. Just need to compartmentalise and grow everything in the right direction and pace, all within 24 hours each day!

I also don't think getting together with him so quickly is a bad thing. The fact that the relationship that failed previously was so recent, you clearly remember what is good and what is bad for you. In fact it forces you to ask a lot of difficult questions which you have to answer, not only to yourself but also the concerned people around you. I don't quite see that as bad, but i think it sets me off on a better foothold than ever. Difficult questions are like coconuts, it's really painful to crack with your hand, but once you get through the thick husk, you get to savour the sweet white flesh and juice in it. But of course I don't advocate this to everyone lah. Maybe i just enjoy being a masochist.

I should blog more often. I like the thoughts that are running through my head these days, all without having to get emo and depressive. Dawne deep in thought. Life is good.

Bright eyed

2008-03-10T01:52:00.000+08:00

Here's my little post on work & ea. I'm still trying to find my work, life & hobby balance. But i'll get better as it goes. In the meantime, I shall get some rest to get back to work bright eyed and not dependent on kopi peng to get my kicks.

Sold?

2008-03-07T01:30:00.000+08:00

If you ask me about the Democratic race. I'll say people are equally torn between 2 novel options: a black president and a lady president. It truly is a case of who is more appealing right now. Marketing, marketing, marketing. We all love pitches don't we. If you ask me, I don't think what Obama has proposed is sound. All his tax cuts have to be funded from somewhere. Where i ask then.

Weekends

2008-03-03T07:31:00.000+08:00

Had a lovely weekend beginning from Friday night with drinks at Dempsey with the girls, a stayover, lunch, shopping, a short pop by to the recording studio, then spending time walking around, dinner with my parents, mahjong, sleep, meeting up with my primary sch friend whom i haven't met in ages, dinner at my grandparent's and then a short pop over to Jon's place. I like the common person who started and ended my weekend, and the spending time in between. Happiness.

I also found out that $500 can buy me the following:
2 rings
1 dress
1 pair of shoes
2 shirts

I am also $500 poorer. I won't be shopping in a very long time after this.

A simple congratulation would do just fine

2008-02-24T22:15:00.002+08:00

In general I've had these few responses from people who heard I got a job they either go along the lines of "Congratulations" or "Finally ah!". I'd have to say i like the sound of the former way better than the latter.

My sweetheart of course being the sweetheart that he is got me a writing instrument so that I could start my job on the right note. I guess it'll help that i'll have something in my hand to remind me of him. =)

Artistic eccentricities or pure laziness?

2008-02-21T09:05:00.000+08:00

As a designer, it's quite shitty to run this thing as a business, you'd really wanna work according to your whims. Sometimes when you can't create, you simply can't, or maybe just won't (due to a lack of will and lump it altogether as artistic eccentricities). After the break up I really didn't wanna make anything, but I had orders to fulfill, some of which I have delayed til now. After that I was too happy going out with Jonathan to want to make things coz well I've got better things to do now! After sometime sensibility starts to kick in, or maybe in general my motor is well oiled and raring to go, and now i'm back to crafting. How do you ever explain all these to your customers? I've realised I had a lack of structure in the past year, working is what I need to help me maintain some sense of semblence of structure instead of disintegrating as and when I like.

I've come to realise a lot of things in the past year. In Feb 08, I finally manage to look back at 07 and look at the lessons that I ought to carry on in my life. Whether it's because Jon is around, or I'm finally getting some sense into my head, I'm thankful either way.

1. Don't allow myself to get into things I don't really want to do. I very very very much wanted to quit school last year, looking back I should have. I spent 1 whole month crying myself to sleep, I still didn't get my way. When the motivation is no longer there, no point holding onto something which you know you won't do with all your heart. This is something that I'm very bad at, maybe i'll be able to correct it in time.

2. Reactive is bad, proactive is good. Is motivation also linked to proactivity? Yes.

Considering what a heavy morning this has been, I think it's time for some breakfast. Yum. I'm also having my baby for dinner, double yum! Oh happy days!

The anger and its subsequent dissipation

2008-02-20T23:19:00.001+08:00

Why ask me about something you have no interest in listening anyway. If i'm not telling you it's most probably something you don't wanna know anyway. I need THE job. I need the rings I saw at Aliya. Stunningly beautiful.

It's amazing how a person's unhappiness can affect the people around so much. I wonder if it's our brainwaves syncing. Hmm.

Idiotarod

2008-02-18T19:43:00.000+08:00

Now if Singapore had more of these kinda things, that'll be really fun. This would be waaay better than the Chingay.

Idiotarod: wikipedia, Carts of Brooklyn, 2008 Idiotarod.

The lies we tell

2008-02-18T12:23:00.001+08:00

I'm doing this proposal thingy for the ad agency to show my abilities:

Centrepoint is currently situated between Plaza Singapura, a shopping centre for the 20-somethings; Heeren, a shopping centre for the hip, young and ~~impressionable~~ fashionable.

Oh the lies we tell.

Post note:
Our society's humour has now come down to making fun and then covering up our "evil" intentions. We should be able to tell it like it is. This will have to take time I guess.

Ideals can sometimes be pragmatic

2008-02-17T11:50:00.000+08:00

Hopefully I'll get to fulfill this when I get my own place:

Have a proper craft room. I've come to realise I like creating and messing things up and I can't just stick to one thing, which is also why I can't focus and bring ea to another level. I mean I can but it'll take away the fun of doing it, then there really isn't much point is there? I don't want to be churning out things for the sake of churning it out. There's too much lifeless products out there, and mine joining one of theirs is really kinda stupid. I might as well throw out all these as junk. I'll have to admit making a sale really feels good, but it's not the money (unless it's a lot of sales), but the recognition that somebody likes what I'm doing. And I enjoy that ea is a vehicle to create more crafty stuff, coz I have to make packaging, come up with namecards, think of ways to sell, reach more people, etc. It's just like how I get very restless when I don't exercise in a really long time, there's this feeling of lots of pent up energy not going anywhere.

There's a whole lot of rationalising if I talk to you about this topic. My brother has been trying to convince me to bring ea to another level. There's a lot of buts holding me back, we'll see how it goes.

Anyway an interesting blog for you peeps to read: { A }

Valentine's Day - Is this how I avoid disappointment?

2008-02-14T16:09:00.002+08:00

I flinched when my mother asked if I'm celebrating Valentine's Day today, coz I'm playing badminton today with the family. I wonder when will I ever know how to go matter of factly that my thinking goes against the general direction of everyone else. Sigh.

I just don't believe in the mass consumerism of cards, flowers and expensive "experiences".
[EDIT: or maybe i'm sick and tired of being dumped with flowers I don't like, presents I don't personally feel for and "experiences" that I'm not really into.]

On Flirting

2008-02-14T11:27:00.000+08:00

In the Victorian era, fans were the ultimate playful prop that could communicate all sorts of messages. A fan placed near the heart meant, You have won my love. A half-opened fan pressed to the lips suggested, You may kiss me. Hiding the eyes behind an open fan meant, I love you, while opening and closing the fan several times warned, You are cruel. Given how much a fan could come in handy, it’s a shame they ever invented air conditioning.

You know it is right when...

2008-02-04T15:10:00.000+08:00

your heart and your mind says that it's love.

Heart palpitations can be brought on by a bout of lust and not love. It may take out the fun when your mind speaks more than your heart, but you'll know that the rational mind will not tell lies. And that my friends is when you know your love is right. ;)

CNY shopping

2008-01-26T15:11:00.000+08:00

Did my CNY shopping in the most unintended manner. Buy pizza lunch for my dad, while waiting i decided to pop by Esprit since there's a 20% sale for members. And after 30 minutes later i've got my set of clothes for CNY. Lovely, no need to spend extended amounts of time walking around aimlessly, jostling with the crowd in town and feeling annoyed after with no mood to try on clothes coz i'm too grouchy. Whoop dee doo!

Bought 2 dresses last Saturday from this shop in Bugis while i was there with Xinyi. I love how the clothes have such a luxe feel, very unlike Bugis clothes. Of course the price tag belongs to the luxe region. Oh well, anyway whoever is interested in buying clothes from COAT'S at bugis please tell me so that i can combine receipts and get the member card. I'm just $80 away from the required amount and it has to be done within a month. We'll share the discounts definitely. =) Win-win, i like.

Frustration

2008-01-25T20:42:00.000+08:00

Why is it so difficult for me to cross this barrier of mine? What makes it worse is when it's a wall that I put up, why can't I dismantle it at the rate that I want. I take one step forward and two steps back. The more i walk forward the further away I am from what I want. In the process I'm pushing him further away. ARGH.

Positively screwed

2008-01-24T02:41:00.000+08:00

As i spoke to shar and viv, i realised that i've been attracting people like that since i was 15. Which actually means that all along i thought that i wasn't screwed up was wrong, i've been so screwed up that i've accepted that it's part of me and it sure took me really long time, a decade to be precise, to realise it. Oh my.

I dunno which is a bigger worry, that you are like them, or i will treat you just like them.

The power of silence

2008-01-23T02:29:00.000+08:00

With a few clicks of the mouse and some dragging and dropping I removed most of the traces. It's not so much to block out pain, but hey I don't quite see the point in keeping you there. People generally keep photos because of memories or because you look good in them. In this case the memories are no longer important, so only the photos where i look good i keep. =) And all that mushy softness a few weeks back, please my friends it's all gibberish and a point in time where i was allowing myself to be a victim of the Stockholm syndrome. It is equally our fault, but there's an imbalance definitely and i don't need to say it. Muahhahahaa. With all these, i'm done and recovered. I like moving on, and almost sticking to the timeline, 2.5 weeks.

I can be terribly cold and cruel, how fun. =)

Tension

2008-01-22T01:36:00.000+08:00

Maintenance of tension requires an equal force exerted on both sides pushing and pulling. As we traipse, tip toe and circle around, taking one small step forwards, the maintenance requires careful balance before things get skewed and an imbalance gets created. Push pull push pull. Equal pressure.

I need time to get things right.

Daddy's Birthday

2008-01-18T06:02:00.000+08:00

So i started the ball rolling by giving him the wind up birthday cake that rolls around making its churning noise. Then we gave him the ice cream cake, then i sat down to have breakfast with him this morning (although it's the work of the ham more than anything else). Dinner, driving them home with the two of them at the back, his "present" of tapioca chips, chocolates, cashew nuts & cuttlefish and then his proper presents of golf balls, wallet, cd collection & a packing list (yeah notepad of the hiliarious nature).

Although i'd have to say he looked a lot happier with his "present" than his present. -frowns- But nevermind a happy birthday boy is a happy birthday boy, whatever the present it is.

Retail Therapy

2008-01-16T22:15:00.000+08:00

1. Hilarious Notepads
2. Pliers & a craft lamp, which has upon opening spoiled
3. Wind up birthday cake toy
4. Funny looking alien stickers
5. I <3 Office stickers

80% of my purchases today belong to the hilarious sort. And I wouldn't have spent money on these kinda things if not for noy pissing her friend off. Lol. She decided to make up to her friend and there i go tagging along and saw all these hilarious stuff and money flies out of my pocket. Super fun. I also bought some extra notepads for christmas or for subsequent birthdays. If you happen to receive an amusing notepad from me, remember this day. =) I'm starting early this year. Hohoho. I've also got presents for a few people's birthday already. A good start to 2008 eh. Now if only i'll stop procrastinating on that write up i'm supposed to do to send in with my cover letter.

Shedding

2008-01-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

You know how some people jump for joy when they lose weight? In this case i'm not exactly jumping for joy. I'm actually swimming in my current jeans and shirt that it's not funny. I have problems finding clothes that i can wear without looking like i picked up the clothes from someone else's rubbish dump. I can actually wear my jeans that i used to wear in poly, without the bulge i had in poly and still look like i have lots of cloth on me everywhere! It IS proving to be a problem. Sigh.

And how my dark eye circles are so dark that the multiple layers of concealer isn't working.

I need to upgrade!

Lessons Learnt

2008-01-15T02:17:00.000+08:00

1. Don't allow the relationship to swallow you whole. You neglect your friends, you stop having a life, you also stop having fun outside of the relationship, you have nothing to bring back to the relationship. You start depending on your boyfriend to be your source of fun and entertainment, in time he'll get bored of being your monkey. You lose your identity and the person that you were before you guys got together. Looking back I don't think I was fun to hang around after a while. Especially since i didn't even go out often to have things to talk about.

2. Communicate, communicate, communicate. This though is an art which I haven't mastered, when I do i'll let y'all know. There were many times when I kept quiet, because i didn't wanna sound like I was being fussy. I still don't know if i will open my mouth if the same thing rings round again, but what my aunt said is that you should just bring it up, it's also to validate your feelings, and understand each other better. Whether it really was an issue worth arguing about, at least both of you know how each other are feeling and subsequently think about the issue, then you learn about each other. This is something that I have to really drill into my head, coz I know i'll have a tendency to grin and bear it if it ever comes again.

I suppose these are the 2 biggest issues and lessons learnt which will carry on across to other relationships, on top of our incompatibility in other areas. In short you know why we broke up. By now i'm generally fine, to be able to blog about it. So you guys don't really have to worry about me. =) Amazingly I can switch on and off very quickly, it's good and bad. But right now, i think it's a good thing.

I learnt quite a lot about myself through this break up, a lot of flaws that I need to correct. A painful lesson, but my life is still long and this lesson will serve me well. I also know who are my friends who'll pick me up when I'm down and I'm truly grateful for them.

It's amazing how I can summarise and compartmentalise everything in such a short period of time. Maybe i am wired like a guy, yet i'm a girl inside. I used to deny being a gu niang, but now, I know there are many sides to me and i'm everything all at once. =)

Let me revel in my singlehood once again. The air is fresh and the grass is green.

Dreaming in the light

2008-01-14T13:34:00.000+08:00

I had an intimate dream of us last night, something that i wished had happened. In a way I got the closure that I wanted. When I woke up my eyes had tears dried up, maybe because my mind knew that it was a dream and it wouldn't happen again.

My dad talked to me and enlightened me, and finally I saw the situation for what it was and I realised it wasn't exactly his fault that things happened, but mine. But by now I really wonder if the sorrys that I say, can ever heal the wounds I caused. I guess I can only be his good friend to atone for my mistakes.

Memories

2008-01-12T01:47:00.001+08:00

Memories awash, every single place I go every single thing I do. No matter how I convince myself I can’t tell myself I never loved you. Maybe one day time will right all the wrongs, but for now the memories will do.

The wonders of suntanning

2008-01-11T18:16:00.000+08:00

Suntanning is good for the soul. It melts away the brain cells that hold onto the painful memories even if it's only for a while. More suntanning please.

Flight or Fight

2008-01-07T23:56:00.000+08:00

Planning to take a trip to Japan after CNY with a good friend and a trip to Vietnam during the CNY period. Maybe that'll help to keep my head up and let me take in some nice fresh air and do the things that i stopped doing. Freedom can be really intoxicating at times, hopefully i don't keel over.

Lusting over...

2007-12-27T05:25:00.000+08:00

My dad got me a really practical gift this christmas: a super cool heavy duty foldable trolley. Alas I was waiting for them to ask me what I want so that I can tell them I want a pair of lindstrom round nose pliers or a lindstrom flat nose pliers or a gocco print set or lamps for a light tent or storage space for my ever expanding collection of beads. Sigh.. The trolley is cool but there's some other stuff that I really really want.. Guess I'll have to wait for my first pay cheque.

Warlords

2007-12-26T11:44:00.000+08:00

I caught Warlords thrice. Yes, for a person who doesn't watch movies more than once this is some sort of an achievement. To not get bored of the show and its contents after the first time. Well the first time I caught it with Amos and was smsing Jon the Man U & Liverpool match updates, with my brother giving me live feeds. Lol. So I kinda missed some parts of it here and there. So when Jon asked if i wanted to catch it I said ok since I didn't really get to watch the show in its entirety. The 2nd time was kinda weird, I was very impatient for the show to end. Not too sure why either. That's the kind of feeling I hate since I already knew most of the show so you tend to anticipate what's gonna happen later. 3rd time my parents wanted to catch it so I said ok since I haven't been spending much time with them. The 3rd time I actually enjoyed it the most without the impatience, which is really strange! This i really do not know how to explain. Maybe mentally I was telling myself to not anticipate what's gonna happen and just watch it for what it is. So i actually enjoyed it most the 3rd time round.

There's just something about chinese epics that Hollywood cannot capture, I love the sweeping expanse, the sincerity in storytelling or maybe it's a cultural roots thing, that I love the phrases they spoke that we only see in our textbooks but don't use in our daily life anymore. I thought Warlords actually married some bits of hollywood cinematography into the entire moviemaking without overkilling it. Such a nice touch to it, without losing the balance.

Merry Christmas

2007-12-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

I know I have been really busy to update this blog, ever since November I was involved in events nearly every weekend, come december without weekly events most of my weekends are still involved in events some mine, some helping others. It's been really tiring, the DPZ was exhilarating and fun, but now that it has died down, life is back to normal. Made a few friends opened a few doors. I guess it's my grandma's way of taking care of me. I miss that this year I can't drive down Orchard Road with her in the car to look at the christmas lights. It's kinda surreal, at times the pain of her death still strikes but yet sometimes you just feel as though she has gone somewhere and just isn't home that's all.

I guess my plans are set, at the way things are going i can only keep EA as a hobby and not a proper job. I haven't managed to sit down n work on projects as though i were doing it as a proper job. I guess that's the bad thing about working at home.. Sigh so come january i'm gonna start looking for a job proper. I really need the routine and all, too much free time is bad for me.

Either way Merry Christmas to y'all, especially those whom I won't get to meet coz of the events i'm involved with. Really sorry.. Hope y'all will have fun without me, come to think of it y'all will lah. Hahhaah. =)

Do you think she came back to look for me?

2007-12-14T02:28:00.000+08:00

You know how we always change superstitions to suit our own beliefs? This is the point where I ignore the fact that certain superstitions I do not follow because of what I want to believe.

post mortem

2007-11-10T00:19:00.000+08:00

Yeah she's passed away for almost 2.5 weeks now. The arrangements we made to adjust and accomodate. The feelings kinda stopped there almost. I still pause to look at her pictures in my hse, on my 21st birthday. As I looked at it somehow I just see a picture, no emotions attached. The crying after a person's death is how much you miss the person, it's all the emotions bursting because of its permanence. After that you go back to your daily routine and you don't think very much anymore. Except that she really won't be in the room when you go back to the house. The actual going about her house pottering doesn't evoke anymore emotions, but yet as I am writing and analyzing the entire event, tears are welling up in my eyes. I guess that's how it is, when you sit and think of the person, you will inevitably feel the sadness. I suppose that's also how you separate the actual feeling and going through the motion while assuming you're no longer sad. It's only because you're not really giving time for the emotions to do its work on you. That's a dissection of how I feel after her death. In a strangely morbid way I enjoy this dissection of emotions and maybe that's why I was a psych student.

Sometimes I ask myself if I should reveal such personal stuff online. But it's also a way for me to remember her and her passing. I suppose I'm really afraid that i'll forget about her in time to come. Like past memories erased because the HDD ran out of space and the data is overwritten with some other memories.

Weekly catch up

2007-11-08T14:36:00.000+08:00

I’ve been crazily busy, but life’s been really good these few weeks.

Got involved in this Nokia Digital Playzone and I’m now one of the final 4 contestants. So i’ll have to stay in a glass enclosure for 3 days from 16th - 18th. Then i’ll have to complete a series of tasks and get people to vote for me. So y’all know what to do. Hahaaha! Support me!! Well it’s even better if you come down to visit me.

I also managed to get the Zouk Flea stall, where I’ve tried to ballot for the stall on 4 previous occasions, but i wasn’t picked. On the previous Flea & Easy, I had to get my brother’s friend who worked in Zouk, to help me get a stall. Luckily her friend was nice enough to give up one stall for us. That’s like a few friends apart. This time I got a call for the stall, of course I won’t be there on the day itself because of the Nokia Digital Playzone, but I’ll still get to sell my stuff.

My features will also appear on the December CLEO and Women’s Weekly. Super joyous season for me. Add the fact that it’s finally near Christmas means I can finally drink Toffee Nut Frappe, after waiting for 10 agonizing months for the end of the year.

I also did some shopping lately:

Kitty in the Trees Swing-it! bag from Triooo

And I also got to spend one whole day with Jon, just relaxing enjoying ourselves. I guess it’s a really nice feeling. Ok I’ve to get back to crafting. There’s an event on Saturday and I’m not even prepared.

New stuff!

2007-11-01T21:11:00.000+08:00

Last night was kinda fun. Decided to hit the town with Jon with nothing in mind, but pure aimless wandering. I think i've been cooped up at home too much or in one place too much that I just wanted to walk around, even if i'm not intending to buy anything. After dinner we wandered into the Singtel shop and my eyes caught the Sony Ericsson W910i, now i'm super tempted to get it already. Lol. I had no intentions to change my phone at all when I stepped into the shop, but I guess i'm changing phone sometime this or next week. I will miss the 3.2mp camera though. Sigh. That's something i'm a little reluctant to do because the W910i is only 2mp. Not that I use the camera function a lot, but it's good to have a top quality lens built into your phone when you need one. Sometimes I go trigger happy and take photos of random things. But the deal is really good so I guess I am getting it.

Then we came home and did some online shopping. My package will come end of Nov. *beams* The new phone is making me really excited. Haha. God knows why though. A flurry of events for this month. Every weekend will see me at an event somewhere, *cross my fingers* and hope I get the Zouk Flea on the 18th. Otherwise i'll be skipping that weekend.

3rd & 4th Nov - MAAD @ Red Dot Design Museum
10th Nov - 111 Emerald Hill, Maki Square Patch Hello Eco!
18th Nov - (Tentative) Zouk Flea
24th & 25th Nov - Yebber @ Suntec & maybe FashBash @ St James.

Lots of crafting to do! And studying for the exams to be a financial advisor is really boring. The notes are driving me nuts. In short that's what it has been this week. Wish me good sales! =)

Like the waves crashing

2007-10-24T21:46:00.000+08:00

I now know how the death of a closed one feels like. It hits you like a wave as you stand by the shoreline. You know as you stand by the shore waiting for the waves to crash on you? It comes and then the waves ebb, and then it hits you again, ebbs and hits you again, repeat ad infinitum. Just when you think you're strong enough to stand there without falling, it rams right into you toppling you over.

It's just painfully upsetting to know that we were supposed to bring her out for her birthday this saturday, but it'll never happen. Anymore. It's not a oh she's not feeling well, we won't bring her out this time. It's set in stone and can't be erased.

Living the dream?

2007-10-19T23:56:00.000+08:00

It's been a really long time since I sat down to blog about my life. The past 2 weeks has been crazy. After the week long celebrations, this week was a surge in activity in my social life. Especially considering how much time i generally spend at home most of the time. So Monday was spent with Jon and then Hari Raya visiting at my ex-colleague's place, Mardiana. Tues, dyed hair, met Levi for dinner. Wed, teach a class, met my uni classmates Shaz and Kavi for dinner and drinks at Cuba Libre. I'm definitely going back there, with a dance partner or no. Realised Kavi's good friend is my salsa classmate and how her friends actually exclaimed upon realising that the owner of EA is her classmate. Lol. Singapore is so tiny. Thurs burned the whole day doing pc troubleshooting at my dad's company, went shopping with my bro n mom for his pants. Half an hour of troubleshooting again, lunch with levi, and somehow stumbled upon taking the exams to be a financial advisor. Badminton friday and yep that's it for this week. Tomorrow's visiting Suhada's place in the afternoon, dinner and match watching, Sunday some high tea thing at my aunt's place. Whoa! Boy am i tired.

Imagine just typing about what I've done this entire week has already taken one long para. Do you feel tired already?

Wondering aloud: My parents always brought us up to dream big and live our dreams. But when it comes to crunch time their advice swiftly changes to "take the safe route". Sigh.

Birthday Craziness

2007-10-13T23:33:00.000+08:00

Super duper freaking tired from the chain of events over the entire week. Tuesday afternoon gym; Wednesday, bead shopping and jewelry party things with Ruth, crazy fun dinner with xinyi and gang; Thurs, troubleshooting Outlook (still unresolved), bead shopping, dinner with Shar and babes; Fri, whole day of manual labour; Sat, super crazy event for Care Cancer society (I volunteered for 1.5days), house warming and Jon's uncle's place, birthday dinner where my family surprised me with a birthday cake from Bakerz Inn. It was very thoughtful of them really. I was hoping there was no cake though, I was so stuffed by the dinner we had. This entire week of eating out means lotsa western fried food + very little vege = no shitting = fat belly. Kids, shitting is an important thing in losing weight. No shit means everything stays inside and on your tummy. I need a system purge, format C(olon).

Happy Thoughts

2007-10-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

I got a feedback from a customer on etsy and it made me super happy. “…. And THANK YOU for the lovely lovely extras! It’s like you went through my shop and guessed exactly what I wanted!” Well i actually did and it’s rare that you get a customer that has a etsy shop presence, well most of mine tend to only have an account and don’t list stuff, so giving them extra beads can be hit and miss. So with her i was pretty confident i’d be giving her things she’d use. Hehe. *beams* Now is there anymore reason to make this week any happier? I know there is. Lol. Maybe a fattening of the wallet would be good too.

Pictures of Wednesday’s dinner up on photoblog. =) It was super crazy a 2kg cake for 9 of us. All thanks to my lovely buddy. The absolute sweetest buddy one can have.

Cliche

2007-10-04T00:12:00.000+08:00

With friends like these, you don't need enemies. Oh wait, they aren't even friends. Pardon me.

Zonked

2007-09-30T22:49:00.000+08:00

Yeah feeling a little zonked right now. Everything is too bright for my eyes. This happens when i get hayfever and sleep but don’t recover totally. Yesterday’s plan of a very fun afternoon didn’t go quite as planned. Dropped by the beadstore to pick up some stuff and then i overstayed by another 45mins talking to the boss. So there goes my craft swop. Sigh and i had packed all the beads into nice little packets and all. Then caught Shoot ‘em up, which i had booked wrongly the night before. That happens when you’re too easily excitable and don’t read the details of the bookings, so i clicked for a 3.35am show and it was too late and i was too tired to go down to change the timings. We caught the 3.20pm yesterday though. So anyway after tt even though the timing of the swop was over i decided to try my luck to see if anyone might still be lingering after 5pm. We walked til we were like 20m away from the shop and decided we couldn’t find the shop. Walked back and enjoyed the houses and the surroundings. It’s really nice to see the quaint shophouses behind Rouge and all at Emerald Hill. So anyways got the car and was on the way to my aunt’s place, then i decided i’ll try one last time to find the place. Which we eventually did. Of course everyone has left already but at least i found the place. Only to realise we were so close. Lol. Oh well. Another time then.

Spent today shopping for my brother’s clothes for his attachment. The salesman at Crocodile was rather funny, he was asking so what’s your brother shopping for? Like what’s the occasion. Haha. He asked with a really bemused tone in his voice. But the service at this shop at Vivo is really superb. They were attentive, helpful, never did they give us the walau why are you so troublesome look. Despite the many times my brother tried and asked for different sizes and all. I’m really impressed. Should have bought a bar of chocolate to thank them for their impeccable service or something. So that’s my happening weekend.

Oooh and the really exciting nail biting match between Wales and Fiji. It was such a close match to watch and either team could have won it. Really fun match to watch although in terms of standard they’re definitely not anywhere near the OZ and NZ team. Hesitation, crabbing, but remarkably few handling errors though, especially since NZ and OZ seem to be have butterfingers lately. I can watch all the matches I want since i’ve handed in my thesis now. WOOT!!! This ends my superbly incoherent post for this weekend.

My Photoblog

2007-09-24T02:05:00.000+08:00

Should check out the pictures I took today. Go go go!!

Badminton Fridays

2007-09-24T01:55:00.000+08:00

Yep, my upcoming fridays for this coming week and the next are going to be spent hitting shuttlecocks. The best part is my fellow shuttlers are my brother, mom and dad. Lol. We decided on this brilliant idea in the car today, somehow that it's the sport that all of us can manage and play. I'm kinda looking forward to it. Whenever I play mj with jon's family I always wish there's an activity that my entire family can do together. I'm actually very envious of the really tight ties that they have, especially contrasted with my family. We spend our time in our individual rooms pretty much 95% of the time and not together as a family. So anyway, it'll be this Friday after my thesis submission. We've got to get our rackets, coz the only ones at home are pretty much not in working condition anymore. Maybe i'll bring a camera along, guess it'll be fun! *cross fingers*

Lesson Learnt

2007-09-23T03:52:00.000+08:00

Oh i finally remembered what i wanted to blog. I know silly me. The next time someone else gives me advice against whatever i really really want to do, i will have to learn how to reject them and believe in myself. There are some regrets, but maybe things wouldn't have worked out the way it has now. *shrugs*

Fleeting thoughts

2007-09-23T03:17:00.000+08:00

I had much wanted to blog about something til i managed to log in and click on my blog and I lost that train of thought. Laggy singnet's fault. 6 more days before thesis submission, 6 more days to freedom, be it real or perceived. 6 more days til my current burdens are lifted and exchanged for new ones. This day has been a really long wait. I'm not even confident of a 2nd upper right now. If i get a 2nd lower, i will not be surprised, but i will not be happy. This school year has been so unproductive i feel so ashamed. Maybe i still prefer IT and playing with boxes. That's the area i excelled because there were few grey areas, but maybe i wouldn't have survived uni in that major. Who knows? Do i truly know where and what i want to be? I can only say with 80% yes. I think i need to travel on my own to find myself again. The person i love most is pragmatic and not an idealist, while I'm ever the Libran, always indulging in ideals and hope. Will I manage to find that strength within to convince myself that my dreams, hopes and ideals can be fought for in my own way? Or will i just flow with the masses of uninspired, unsure and unrealized til the end.

Need To:

2007-09-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

1) Complete thesis
2) Cut & dye hair
3) Start looking for a job
4) Decide between Safra shooting club vs i cannot remember what
5) diving trip, holiday trip, whatever trip
6) celebrate my birthday. Lol. I'm just happy it's here, coz it's pressies and ang bao time!

Blogger swears (well almost)

Friends - A Year of Consolidation

2007-09-13T01:27:00.001+08:00

Had a wonderful weekend, went for Sevillanas class which is part of the da:ns festival. It is absolutely fantastic, i think i’m picking it up and subsequently flamenco. Woot! Dinner at xinyi’s place. It was so nice of her to have us over even though she had to work on her assignment. Jeremy was the wonderful chef that night and the chicken was really good. Your Australian training has made you useful! Lol.

Met with my secondary school gal pals last night for steamboat, wonderful time always. It’s really nice to have friends that really care and you can pick up right where you left off a month ago. They’ll do anything, even though it’s out of the way, just for you.

This year’s a trying year for me in terms of friendship. I thought i had gained a really good friend, but it disappeared as soon as it came, or at least the way things seem. Losing yet another 2 more friends from different groups. I don’t really like to talk about it on my blog where a number of people have access, but i can’t suppress it any longer. Maybe it’ll prompt me to take action? Maybe things will from here change for the better? Or maybe i will lose them, the way they slowly slipped away from at least a year back. Sometimes i really wonder, am i important to these people at all. Lots of questions but no answer. Or maybe i just refuse to see the answer.

Foodie Central

2007-09-05T23:56:00.000+08:00

Well I undid my 22 laps with 3 krispy kremes on monday and Naked Gun at Billy Bombers with melted cheese. So much for healthy living. Dinner yesterday was at Holland V. It is rather rare that Jon and I go to hard to get places using public transport. Anywhere not next to the MRT station is considered hard to get. So we did and had Thai Express, I know nothing unusual that required all that travelling. We were there for ice cream at Cold Rock, which was over-rated. Soft, melted ice cream does not make a good ice cream. Plus it's really expensive. With their smallest size it's already $4.50, and you have to add some toppings otherwise why the hell are you eating cold rock ice cream anyway? Each topping comes at a dollar each. Mash it in, introduce some warm air and melt your plain tasting ice cream, that definitely makes it value for money and yummy. Our final bill was $15 for 2 cups of ice cream coz we took a bigger size, which is way too much for one person after dinner. Nope I'm not returning. Give me my B&Js or gelato anytime.

I caught hairspray today with my neighbour, it's such a delightfully fun show. I was telling her, imagine your parents used to danced like that in discos. AHHHH The horror!! Well i suppose it was cool then. My gosh. After watching it i feel like getting a pair of Chuck Taylors. Sneakers, slippers. Broke.

Sink or swim

2007-09-03T14:37:00.000+08:00

Pre-swimming drink: 1 can of Milo

Post-swimming drink 1: 1 bottle of H20
Post-swimming drink 2: Unknown fruit juice with pulp

-burp-

More water to rehydrate please.

Could have swam more if not for the fact that i have some places to go and things to do. But overall i'm happy with 22 laps. It's been a long time since i've completed anything more than 20 laps. Add that i was really tired after the first 2 laps, shows how rusty i am, it's amazing i managed to convince myself to complete the other 20 more laps. Maybe it's the competitive nature i have against guys. More swimming soon!

Oh yeah no PVD on saturday though, but there's James Lavelle!

Highlights & Lowlights of the week

2007-08-31T13:08:00.000+08:00

(in chronological order)
1. Meeting Lareina for lunch
2. Free facial trial
3. which subsequently made me $58 poorer
4. Gave an indian man $10 coz I didn't have smaller change
5. Felt really broke after
6. Adam Khoo's Entrepreneur talk
7. Receiving payment for my big order (Thanks to Uncle Henry)
8. Mambo night with Emi & Amos
9. Yummy dessert by Jiajia's mum
10. Hanging out with Amos
11. Completing the orders for Uncle Henry to bring on his trip
12. Making a really cute pair of earrings

13. Repeating myself to everyone how cute that pair of earrings is
14. Receiving some complaint about an item I shipped overseas (this might require one post but i'll see how longwinded i feel)
15. Feeling insulted that the same customer in point 14 thinks Singapore is somewhere in China (I seriously wonder why, doesn't Singapore sound more SEA-ish than China-ish)
16. Making lots of cute items today

17. Playing mahjong later with Jon's family (part of celebration, well you know you do stuff the birthday person enjoys?)
18. Celebrating Jon's dad's birthday
19. Paul van Dyk @ Zouk
20. ARGH I'm short of one!! I'll fill it up hopefully before the end of the week. =)
Oh oh I know receiving an invitation to Lil's BBQ!! See ya Lil! and Celeste n Cheryl n Sri.

Trippety Hip

2007-08-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

Had a rather busy schedule today and the weather was the worst day to be running about to places that aren't sheltered all the way to the train station. So i had to carry an umbrella, which i used only from my hse to the main road. So so stupid. I cabbed from home to Taka for lunch and then cabbed to my free trial facial. I've got to say it's really good. Too bad i don't have money to sign up for it. Otherwise i pretty much would. Well something to think about when i start working officially i suppose. Last but not least a trip to the Art Museum for a Prudential + Adam Khoo entrepreneur talk. Pretty interesting stuff and i did enjoy myself. =) Have to thank You Keat for the invite though.

Got back some data set from the school yesterday. Some had really funny answers and well i guess it's pretty interesting! Hopefully everything works out fine. Although i made a HUGE mistake. Sigh. My study being on Singaporeans mothers did not confirm the nationality of these mothers til i had arabs, pakistanis, belarussians. Yeah crap, think of what those China Chinese who marked themselves Chinese and me lumping them together with Singaporean Chinese. I'm quite screwed. Major oversight. Lesson learnt anyway. Shall get it over and done with soon enough!

Pink Prank Project

2007-08-20T21:31:00.000+08:00

This is soooo fun!!! Head to their website to see how it's done. Hehehehe. I LOVE installation art!!

Dreams and coincidences

2007-08-17T22:02:00.000+08:00

I feel like writing something but i’m not quite sure what. Anger, weariness, excitement, isn’t life just the most interesting thing? Need to sort out my table which is in a huge mess. Perhaps this clutter is also filling up my mind and stalling me. Too many things on my i want to do or need to do list.

Had a strange morning-mare today. I dreamt that my mum was sorta attacked by this poltergeist at this work site.After putting down a call to a medium / someone who can exorcise poltergeists, electrical currents actually shot towards the spot where she was standing almost like lightning strikes. Luckily she saw me and i called out to her. Then blah blah and all. I woke up coz my mum came to my room to close the windows. Decided the morning-mare was to scary to return to sleep i went to the wash room and groggily walked back. Then my mother asked me to do something for her, afterwhich she came to my room to apologise for disturbing my sleep by making me help her with her stuff. Then i told her it’s alright, i had a morning-mare and weirdly i decided to hug her, like i was afraid something would happen to her. So i proceeded to tell her about what happened in the morning-mare and she told me she was going to a job site later at a condo and i was thinking in my dream that place looked like a condo carpark. Freaky thing though was that she was going to inspect some electrical wiring, which she has never done before. The coincidence is kinda fascinating and scary. First thing is i haven’t been thinking about any ghosts stuff besides during the KL trip which is almost a week ago and i didn’t have any knowledge of her going to jobsites and inspecting electrical stuff til this morning’s conversation. Anyway she’s fine so it’s alright, just really freaky.

Gotta go complete some orders and make more new stuff for the Zouk flea this sunday. WOOT!!!!

KL Roadtrip

2007-08-13T21:07:00.000+08:00

Day 1

We started early although it wasn’t the most wonderful weather to be driving since it poured like nobody’s business. First stop, Chicken Rice Balls in Melaka. Yum yum, lotsa people rave about their rice balls, which weren’t fantastic to me, too soft and mushy and not very fragrant, but the chicken was tender and really delicious. After lunch pitstop, we headed to KL and obviously all of us just dozed off since there wasn’t much scenery to take in along the expressway. I wonder what did i used to do to keep myself occupied on those yearly trips (sometimes more than twice a year) to Genting with my parents. Got to the hotel, settled into our rooms and showered, we headed off to grab dinner. Thanks to my mom and dad sms-ing me about this bak kut teh place near our hotel. So we walked, with the aid of the GPS (it’s a really great invention I swear) and gave the traffic jams a miss thankfully.

Next stop up the hills to try our luck and earn some extra shopping money, which we did. My father sent this amusing sms though: “Rule #1 - Casinos are open 24hours, has 3 shift changes; Rule #2 - There are no tired bankers but there are sleepy players; Rule #3 - You win a casino only when you walk away with money in your pocket & Rule #4 - Casinos are not afraid of people who seek revenge, they just change losing croupiers.” With some extra shopping money in our pockets, we finished the night by catching Rush Hour 3 which was pretty much worth how much we paid SGD4.48. Sorry i’m not a huge fun of this sequel though. But the french man was funny, Jacky Chan feels like he’s being forced to play someone else he’s totally not and it’s quite an insult to him i feel.

Day 2

Woke up late after the late night at Genting, pity Shi Ming the driver though, i was happily asleep pretty much most of the time when he was driving throughout the entire trip. After waking up and all we got into contact with my friend in KL who introduced us to 1 Utama, this really huge shopping center which is about 15 - 20mins away from the heart of KL city. It’s as she says a good mix of street fashion and international brands. My beading student intro-ed me Starhill which was 3mins walk away from our hotel that sells branded stuff (read: LV, Hermes, things i cannot afford). Incidentally we stayed next to Ritz Carlton at Dorsett Regency, which is a pretty good 4 star hotel. Nice pool, clean rooms, efficient housekeeping, etc. Anyway back to lunch at 1 Utama, which we had at this American restaurant Chili’s. Check out the amount of food we had. Lol.

Then we caught another movie, yes we did. Lol. It seemed more like a movie session in KL sorta thing. Anyway Flash Point sucked. The storyline was choppier than the waves in Perfect Storm. Even I with my horrendous compo skills can piece together a better storyline. No idea what the hell the story was about besides the basic gist of using violence to catch druglords and loyalty between brothers or brotherhood. For the guys the Muay Thai action was really good, well it’s good but not enough to compensate for the 1hour plus that i sat in the cinema for. Time which i could have used to shop, since i didn’t quite get to shop much in 1 Utama for clothes coz i was brought around by my friends. Well and basically i didn’t shop much for clothes the entire trip really. Our plans for clubbing was postponed since we were all really tired, i think it was the blood rushing to our stomachs from dinner/supper. We also shelved our plans of go-karting and paintball since we didn’t like the idea of stinky helmets even though there was a go-kart track near 1 Utama.

Day 3

We woke up early for the hotel’s complimentary breakfast to line our stomachs to make sure we could last the trip to Kuantan for some sun, sand and sea. We did have some sun sand and sea, albeit a little too much of sun and sea. The waves were really huge and strong while standing calf deep in sea, the waves came along and i went tumbling and hitting some unknown thing which was stuck in the sand. It looked like the 1L water cooler that you bring along for picnics. It left some really nice imprints on me though.

After bathing at the Grand Central Continental Hotel that Jon’s parents were staying in Kuantan (they went for a short trip as well) we headed back to KL. The hotel is also part of the hotel chain that i used to do software testing and also the hotel which my dad used to work at as an accountant where he later met my mom on his daily trips to the bank. We had dinner at Nandos, yummy chicken again, we seem to be eating a lot of chicken throughout the entire trip.

Then shopped around at Petaling Street a little and headed back to the hotel entirely beat. All thoughts of clubbing flew out of the window after the 2hours of playing monkey on the beach in Kuantan.

Day 4

Our last day in Malaysia had me insisting on having breakfast so that i can stuff some food that’ll induce my bowel movements. Which i finally did after the guava the night before and milk with cereal in the morning. Mission accomplished. Stopped by a bead wholesale shop, grabbed some beads which looked interesting and we head south towards home. We had a few places to go before reaching home though. Lunch was planned for a return to Melaka for the Chicken Rice Balls. Unfortunately it rained pretty heavily and the roads were a little flooded, worried about our possibility of making it back home without walking, we opted to have our lunch in Mahkota Parade. Where poor Arthur lost in zong ji mi ma and had to finish the huge tubs of coleslaw, whipped potato and the large pepsi. Yep he was pretty unlucky. In the end he chickened out and opted to give us all a treat to Baskin Robbins ice cream in exchange for not finishing the food. I had a Baskin Robbins sundae with 2 scoops, rum and raisin and hokey pokey. The Hokey Pokey’s really yummy i love the honeycomb crunch! After Melaka we headed to Muar to collect our otah. Each of us ordered 100 sticks and the uncle gave us 40 sticks extra. It’s really crazy the amount of otah we had.

That pretty much was our trip. Of course the laughter and silly things we did wasn’t described in detail, but that’s the memories for us to keep!

Photos of the trip in my photoblog. Photos are also arranged according to dates so just click on the dates!

Fun and cheer

2007-07-31T23:23:00.000+08:00

Yay lotsa cool stuff in my life right now.. Learning photoshop, card tricks and many other fascinating stuff which i would never have expected i would learn. But the other thing that i'm yearning for is still the shooting club membership. Mainly because i know i excel in it, hmm i will get to it soon i suppose. Heading to KL for the National Day weekend with Jon and his friends. We'll even be meeting one of my customers who'll bring us clubbing. Woohoo!! Kinda cool eh! But we click rather well online so it'll be fun i hope!! Our itinerary is rather jam packed with activities, think it'll be really fun. Haha.. Genting, go-karting, paint ball, shopping, clubbing, slacking on the beach. This is like the coolest and most fun holiday i'll be on! Well if everything goes according to plan. But it also sounds like those holidays where u come back and take a holiday to rest from your holiday. Lol.. Really looking forward to it. Hehehe.

Rise n Shine

2007-07-23T07:55:00.000+08:00

Updates to the previous post, bought 'em new shoes and painted me nails scarlet red. Yum. =) Well technically i paid someone else to do it, but who cares! Next up, haircut and a trip to the gym! Cleared stock for EA! Yay finally the items are going to new homes! Wrote the email that i've put off writing, waking up early sure is good for me. Been sleeping in til late far too often and dreaming funny stuff, no good, time wasting! There's a carnival coming this sunday at youth park about stamping out stigma for mental illnesses, do make your way down if you're free! It's between 12-7pm, free fun and games, henna, magicians, info about mental illnesses and a simulation room where you'll find out more about some of these mental illnesses and how they feel.

Okay it's officially another 2 more hrs before the alarm rings to wake jon up, i have to find some things to do. Bleah! Have a good week y'all.

Bleary Days

2007-07-20T07:53:00.000+08:00

Jon bought 2 dresses for me yesterday and i’ve gotten a steal of a clutch bag at the flea last sat from Cheryl’s cousin so now all i need is a new pair of heels. Jon’s asking so where do u intend to wear the dress to since they looked pretty dress up considering how slack i am, and i said i can wear it to meet you what. =) Pretty gf for him. Haha, it’s pretty much really the only reason why i dress up. Yes and the occasion of birthdays and special events. So, lalalala. Very happy! Will take shots of the dress when it’s washed. Will most probably wear them on sunday for my brother’s birthday. Ok ditzy post over. Continue to the usual nonsensical, boring updates of my life.

Event at SMU’s Ice Cold Beer tomorrow, hopefully i don’t waste 6.5hrs of my time there. Got my nails lacquered black. Yeah digression sorry. But it’s been a long time since i had them done after started focusing on EA.

Back to doing proper work. =)

Sanity resumes

2007-07-18T11:39:00.000+08:00

Yep it does, finally the event is over and although it wasn’t the most fantastic i can only say i’m glad it’s over. The stress from running so many things concurrently during that period gave me pimples on my back. Goodness gracious. I’ve never ever had pimples on my back and it’s really quite disgusting. But it’s healing nicely now. Thank God. Then there was the art clay silver class which i attended on Sunday and the semi precious stones that arrived when i got home after the event. So many things to look forward to after the event. =)

Here they are my little “master pieces” lol. It really is a very interesting material to work with. It’s basically 99.9% silver with an organic binder so the organic binder makes the clay look like your normal grey colored clay which some people even use as face masks. After moulding you dry it, after drying you sand and file the thing til you’re so blardy tired and also start wondering if you can make anything decent with it. Then you fire it either via a kiln, gas torch or gas stove. Yes gas stove, cool eh. And after that you brush and file and sand and burnish and polish it. In fact the finishing is the really tedious part. But it’s pretty cool coz while you’re in the finishing process you can really see your creation take shape, or go horribly wrong. But yeah. Really fun class to learn. Bumped into a friend i knew from OBS whom i got to know in secondary school and caught up with her. It’s scary how many years we have not kept in touch. Almost 10 years! Sigh in a few years time i’ll get to tell ppl that i know this person for 20 years. So scary.

Just got my full ethics approval. Yay!! Gonna start data collection and all. Hopefully i don’t run behind schedule. Gotta start working hard now. =)

Pre Event Jitters

2007-07-18T11:37:00.000+08:00

*I know the event is over. It's coz i've been writing in my wordpress more regularly than here. So yeah. Read over at wordpress for more up to date posts. But read here for things which some people will not get to hear as opposed to wordpress. ;p

Yes, i’m beginning to worry, especially since E’s not exactly the most responsive and pretty much most of our crowd will have to rely on Timbre. Good god. We’ve advertised through other means which we won’t know how effective it is til we actually see on Saturday. Is this how an event is supposed to be, the results are uncontrollable? Now i know how Cindy & Janson felt when they did the previous event. Oh gosh. I have to prepare stuff for lucky draws and the layout details for arranging on saturday morning. I’m beginning to wonder, if it’ll turn out to be a flop. =( *furrows eyebrows* Can’t wait til Sunday or at least til the event is over and then i can really curse and swear at some people. Which i really hope i won’t have to. Why make empty promises when you don’t intend to fulfill them, unless it happens to be the way of business then i really have nothing much to say buy scream in exasperation. Please don’t disappoint me. Bleah.

Making lotsa new stuff and pretty too! Haha at least compared to the Cine event where my designs were a little off. Kinda happy that i’m back in the groove! The new beads sure help. Lol. Of course emptying the pockets in the process. Please please let me make enuf money so that i’ll head towards the black rather than stay in the red. My aim, for the 1st birthday of EA is to be in the black. Just several events and spending lesser money. Hehe, easier said than done though.

The stress is eating me up. Well not really, but yah.

Posts that i have to remind myself to write

2007-07-10T08:23:00.000+08:00

Yes, some of the titles include:

Since it's been so long since i've wanted to blog about it, so i supposed i've lost a lot of the content in they're all lying in some little brain recycle bin corner. So the shortened version..

- Reasons not to buy a Fiat Punto

Gear transmission of an auto car feels like a manual car. Unless of course you love headbanging in your car while the auto car changes gear everytime. Yes the jerk is that bad. Delay in feedback which makes the drive worse than even my Picanto. I think it's one of those few times which i can truly say in triumph that my car is better than a continental car for a real good reason.

- The inequality in disability

That even when you're disabled, the amount of money you have determines how truly 'disabled' you are (in the physical sense) and i feel that it's so sad. Just imagine that should you (hypothetically) and someone else with tons of money both get injured in the same way at the same time, recover at the same rate, etc, but obviously with more money it allows the other person to be a lot more functional than you are. Of course perspective and attitudes matter, but if you were more functional i suppose it'll be easy to be happier?

- Life and its course

People keep asking me so what do i plan to do after i graduate? And the answer that i give is, i'm not very sure. I hate it when i say that and how people start thinking oh gosh this is another girl who just frivolously leads her life and hasn't decided what she wants in life. But the truth is i don't really quite wanna bother them with telling what my actual plans or dreams are. As i get closer to my graduation date, the more i feel like i'm supposed to say oh i'm gonna be a educational psychologist or counsellor or whatever. But it's such a big field and there's so much more to explore. It's not like when you major in civil engineering and then graduate i suppose there's pretty much limited options that you can do with your degree, unlike psych. With it's scary multitude of options, which along with it brings some scary questions like, what if i never quite find my niche in psych that i really want to do? And then i go jobhopping from one psych area to another. Is it really that bad to not know where you're going next? I don't really want to just grab onto the bus simply because it is going somewhere, i may not end up in a place i like and then what? You plod along like everyone who doesn't love their job til you hit a mi-life crisis (if you're lucky) and realise that the job sucks and you've wasted a decade doing something you don't enjoy or worse continue plodding on along your life and start questioning what have you done with your life besides work and pay rent. I hope i don't get to that day when i just wait for my paycheque just to be happy with what i'm doing.

It seems so much that the next proper step i should take is be a psychologist because it's the correct path to take. Sigh, just a random rant, which i don't think i'll get an answer for, not immediately anyway.

- The broadband generation and the instant gratification

Was reading a newpaper article the other day and realised how much this is true. Instead of accepting that certain things in life don't happen in a blink of an eye, people expect that life like the internet happens in a flash. We're no longer as patient and when things don't happen within a certain alloted timeframe, we get angry and start hissing. I do wonder if people before were more patient as opposed to our generation. Or perhaps it's that they were more understanding of others instead of the 'me me me' mentality. *shrugs* sigh.

Time to head back to sleep or do something constructive with my day. I can't wait for the Timbre event to be over. It's scary how crazy the prep was. But now we know better! Pray for good weather on Saturday, windy cool balmy weather good for walking and shopping!

Reviews

2007-07-10T07:38:00.000+08:00

Bought this cute pack of potato chips from Watson at Tampines Mall the other day. Boy is it yummy. Filled with potato yet airy at the same time, it's savoury taste registers nicely on my tastebuds. Delish. If only I could have 10 more packets of that sitting in my kitchen cabinet rather than the usual doritos and nachos. I still like Jack n Jill Potato Chips in BBQ flavour. The yummy taste that has accompanied me since young til now. It's almost like an entry level junk food for me, considering what my junk food diet consists of.

Caught Transformers, wow it's really good. Good enough that I'm considering watching it a second time. For Ms Short Attention Span, that's rare. I love how they sneaked in unique bits of Transformers into the show. Don't think i should give away too much of the storyline. Go watch it for all you action movie afficionados and Transformers and nostalgia fans. I've been transformed into a fan already. Heh.

*Caught Transformers yesterday and the crowd was boring man.. They didn't even get the 'more than meets the eye' Most of the jokes they didn't get it or most probably laughing to themselves. How sad. Oh well, i loved it, since we managed to catch what we missed out when we were late on the first viewing and finally saw how Megatron was defeated, coz i blinked the last time! So yay!

Gym Rat

2007-06-26T23:17:00.000+08:00

Popped by the gym today, it's been a really looong time since I went, it sure felt really good to exercise and use those underused muscles. Even my calves and hamstrings felt tight. But my core muscles are still strong, which is a good sign. =) Had to undo all the damage left by the good food we had for the birthday and anniversary. More good food tomorrow, so preventive measures have been taken and is underway.

Other stuff like how busy my life is and blah blah you already know. Life is always busy I suppose, just a matter of what you're busy with. Such as busy sleeping, busy slacking or busy doing work, busy making earrings. Hehe. Luckily I'm busy and productive these few days. More opportunities for EA and stuff. Choices have to be made soon I suppose. My parents want me to take on a proper job and work in the government and blah blah. Of course I'll always end up doing something very different from what they want me to. Unless I get spectacularly good grades then yeah life as a civil servant beckons me, otherwise private sector or business! Was joking with jon that I'll make him a CEO of a company for his birthday present or something. Considering registering for a company is $65 + admin fees etc and name cards come up to $150. Lol. Who wants to be a CEO of a company? I'll chip in money for your pressie.

Over the Rainbow

2007-06-19T02:02:00.000+08:00

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
In the land that I heard of
Once, once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare you dream
Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds
Are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds
Are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops that's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

If happy little bluebirds fly
Above the rainbow
Why, oh why, can't I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYVXN7gk5W0

Watch this and you'll know why this song is so lovely. Aww...

Zouk Fun

2007-06-14T13:21:00.000+08:00

Lol, yep went clubbing last night. Woot! Had so much fun, I guess it was coupled by the fact that it's been a really long time since I clubbed, alcohol and I was very determined to have fun. Lol. Since the past few outings had me leaving the club with a scowl. I always get really annoyed by the crowd. But last night nope no such thing. I danced and danced and danced. As a result I missed today's gym since I was simply exhausted by all of that. But really fun. Hehe. Going on some major bead shopping trips these few days so that I'll have stuff to make for the event at Cineleisure.

Dinner with xinyi and huili was fun. It's been long since I caught up with them and I really enjoyed myself. Hearing horror tales about pregnancy and health issues that we should be worried about, my have we grown up. The most poignant memory I had of us in poly was when Huili was crying in the toilet almost under the sink, us as a class blocking whatever walkways we were on simply we were too big as a group to make any decisions (anything. i don't mind. Up to you.), the chalets we had frequently. Boy it's been a long way since then and I think simply because of the length of our friendship makes me sorta happy and appreciative of these people even though we aren't always physically there for each other now. Yep, after exams is all fun. Hehe. Not entirely. Gotta make heaps of earrings and send out mails to schools and do my critique. Ooh yes my critique.

Wordpress Alternative

2007-06-13T08:02:00.000+08:00

Yup I've done up the wordpress blog, view it here. Let me know on the tagboard which is better! Sigh, I'm torn between the two. No point having two same blogs either. Pfft. Greedy me.

Elation + Disappointment

2007-06-13T07:43:00.000+08:00

Yup elated that the stress period is over, for a while at least. There are always stressful periods coming up, it's how you cope with it. E.g. procrastination, escaping, all simple and wonderful exit strategies. Lol. At least for the things I don't enjoy doing. Lest my future employer starts thinking I'm like that across all aspects of my life. Don't ask me why I'm thinking my future employer is reading my blog. Oh well, imaginative me. Anyways, so, exams are easy peasy. Jon asks how come your exams are always easy. I'm an exam person, not a write 1500 word essays, repeat ad infinitum person. I love exams because you solidify the things you've covered in the term and remember it and regurgitate. I love how it makes me feel really knowledgeable. Of course I also love using the terms I've learnt in daily language. It annoys my friends coz it scares the shit out of them or so they say. But it's all the more fun. You do realise how incredibly narcissistic I'm beginning to sound in this post. So I shall continue and say yes I'm a nerd I love learning. While essays are also learning, they're just not as fun. Maybe I just need to see it in a different light. Anyways, anyone planning to club this week? Lol. I'm superbly tempted since I haven't gone in a really long time. I'm starting to feel suaku and old and boring. So please bring me out before i really just play mahjong for the rest of my days to prevent myself from getting Alzheimer's.

Disappointment: Well someone came over to buy beads from me and I can't believe she actually wiped out my collection of some beads leaving me with none. Even when I said I haven't used a single one for myself. That I suppose is a case of someone having the me me me mentality. Helllo?? I extend my niceties doesn't mean you go all out and be that thick skinned right? Really a case of give you an inch and you ask for a mile. Now she's gone on to do something very similar to a piece I've done before. I've talked about copyright on EA before and yes personally I don't seem to take a very strong stand against it, but I suppose I forgot to emphasize to her that the minimum you should do is credit the appropriate people. Example me, in this case. But like I mentioned to J, you keep creating but they can only copy. "Their lazy and pea brained minds are probably only coping with copying." Unfortunately I hate that I have to use this line on her. Oh well. *shrugs* I shall emphasize that I don't make such a big fuss as in searching out people to see who's stealing my ideas, but if you're right in front of me I think you're simply dumb and totally socially unaware of your own actions. To that it's no wonder why all the more I should use the above quoted line. Tsk.

Alright I shall conclude this verbose post with my intentions for today, swim, bead shopping, meet huili, xinyi n michelle for din din and maybe, just maybe, clubbing!

IT show and its aftermath

2007-06-06T12:01:00.000+08:00

4 really tiring days with poor sales. I guess I no longer wanna sell LG since it's really hard to sell, plus looking at how things are I suppose this is also my last PC show. The sept will most prob see me fully occupied with my thesis and after that is graduation and finding a proper job or pursuing my entrepreneur dreams. So my time most probably won't be used on PC shows, as it'll be really wasteful. Plus the closure of the IT show saw me having a car accident. Minor scratches to the car, but the passengers and I are all fine. But the sweetest thing of all is that my brother bought me a concealer after I complained that my pimple on the chin is growing rapidly and it sucks having a huge pimple. He was the one who suggested using concealer, please don't ask me why he's the one suggesting and not me or some other girl. Me being me of course don't own any cosmetics beyond mascara, lip gloss/balm and blusher. Which of course at the moment I don't even put on lip balm before leaving the house, that's how much cosmetics I use. So anyway the next day he said I got something to pass to you, lo and behold it was a concealer. That's really sweet of him, gotta start learning how to use all these girly stuff so that it doesn't go to waste.

The whole monday saw me sleeping or spending the rest of the day zonked out, playing PSP. Yes, I'm addicted to this game on PSP (which belongs to Jon). It's pretty fun really, now I want a PSP just so that I can play that game. Lol. Oh yeah and sweet Jacquline got Clarence to do something to cheer me up and he drew this little figure.

How could I be blue after that? Lol. It was really sweet of them. Hehe. Now it's up on my board to cheer me up whenever I'm blue.

Back to reality, lots of deadlines and things to rush. Bleah. Hope you're having a better time than me.

Long Long Time Ago...

2007-05-30T08:23:00.000+08:00

...I blogged.

Been busy, in a really good way. EA's sales is pretty good this month. But I've gotta slow down as my exams are coming up. Got myself involved in 2 projects with EVO my school's psych society which is organising a series of talks on the 21st Jul & a public carnival on the 29th Jul. Trying to call people, sponsors, contractors, etc. Failed a previous assignment, which was pretty sobering til I calculated my grades and realised i failed by 1 mark due to my late submission. Then the failure lost its impact. I shouldn't have calculated, at least I'd still feel panicky and kick into working hard mode. On my thesis, been mailing schools but no replies. Got back a reply from Maris Stella's principal and he said I'm sorry our students do not match your target sample, DOH! How silly was I. I was happily thinking which schools might agree and totally forgot that they were a boy's school, when I'm looking for chinese girls as participants. Shall continue collating the direct emails of the principals. I suspect I'm about to fall sick soon and that's not good considering i'll be working from thurs-sun at the IT show. But anyway the highlight of the entire period since I last blogged is that Lulu just came back from OZ-land!! So happy to see her yesterday. Gonna meet them again tonight for drinks or pubbing, so yay!!

Flee Flea

2007-05-11T23:16:00.000+08:00

We outsold everyone in the bazaar WOOT!!!! Well the other stall holders seem kinda pathetic though. But partially because of J's stuff, it attracted a lot of her existing online customers to the event, which spilled over to my side and we were like mini celebrities as C says. Lol. But I'm freaking tired. Made earrings til 3.30am then woke up at 8. Looks like tonight's gonna be the same. Think i'll really have to survive on coffee, tea and coke tomorrow. Nearly dead. Got home, told my mum tt i sold blah blah amount and then she began her analysis on why J sold more in terms of absolute value and her entire analysis. Got a bit pissed, no word on good job, but criticising what i'm not doing. I know what's lacking and i really don't need this when i'm freaking dead beat. Like stuff about similar styles etc, and i get annoyed when i've already chosen to ignore and live with it and she goes on about it. Even if it's just a little bit, my brain is too tired for that right now.

Human

2007-05-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

Met my supervisor for my thesis yesterday and had a talk with her. Just the usual checking in on me to see how i'm doing sorta thing. Then she shared that I totally understand how you feel coz she's such a lazy person and is procrastinating on her thesis too, (she's doing her PhD right now) luckily she has a supervisor who'll check in on her and just sorta give her a kick in her butt to get her working. Makes me really relieved to know that i'm not the only one procrastinating. Heh. But it is very helpful when she hounds me and I do start working. But at least I know I'm not alone on this and the timing of her advice couldn't have come at a better time. Glad that I chose the right supervisor.

Fracture & Spidey 3

2007-05-03T13:25:00.000+08:00

Spidey 3 sucked. Too longwinded, tried to squeeze in too many characters. Baaadd. I was actually complaining that it was too long, and that's really rare coz I usually think most movies are good even when people say they're bad. Whereas Fracture was just wonderful, 'cept for that lack of build up on that side of him which made the ending seem a little surprising. But ooh lovely. I love Anthony Hopkins and his psychotic characters and his accent, the way he speaks, very calm, assured and always very aware of what he was doing. In Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal and Fracture. Go watch Fracture if you're dying to watch a movie, please don't waste your monies on Spidey. But of course you most probably can't resist the lure of a blockbuster.

Stick up

2007-05-01T16:31:00.000+08:00

Murder Weapon

This is a stick up! Your money or your life?!

Pulling the trigger

Haha coool eh. Couldn't resist this. I've been playing around with wordpress this morning, the layout looks kinda cool, thinking if I should change over. But they've got a really small limit on the amount of photos that you can upload 50MB vs 1GB of blogger. Darn. But of course I rarely post up pictures here. Maybe I would, coz I simply can't resist the theme. Oh so beautiful. Maybe soon. In the meantime case formulation on an alcoholic. Oh yeah and Dexter, last of season 1. Spiderman 3 tonight after screaming at the computer between my brother and I, and I got the last row tickets while he has crappy tickets. But nvm we're watching Spiderman so it's all good.

Toilet Paper

2007-04-29T01:33:00.000+08:00

One of my classmates may be starting work with the company I interned for as a consultant ed psych. We graduated from our Bachelor's at the same time, she's gone on to do hands on stuff while i got prodded along to take more papers maybe to wipe my ass or something. It's a $18K (excluding GST) toilet paper aight. While after graduating if I return to the same company, I'll most probably qualify as a case manager, which is in layman's term an admin clerk in the psychology field. Sure you do a bit of PR, let clients scream at you, while the therapist engages in the client and rarely gets hassled in such a manner. There's also of course a difference in pay cheque. So someone please enlighten me. I'm so fucking pissed off right now with my choices. Everyone's been prodding me down the conventional route, I'm so fucking tired of it. When was I one to follow conventions. Is this really the right choice? Chasing paper? It's almost like chasing toilet paper and when you reach the end of the role, well that's it. It's just the same, no more toilet paper.

Women are not human + Miswanting

2007-04-27T22:46:00.000+08:00

Read the article here to find out more. A very interesting perspective. I think sometimes we keep comparing to what we have compared to the past and we feel fortunate in that, but we don't realise how much more we still have to go before being considered equals. May we never forget that, otherwise we're undoing what those before us has done.

Here's another read about miswanting and the perennial where do you see yourself in 5years time during interviews. Quote the sandwich study at your own risk. But I'll use it sometime in future. Heh.

Wondering out loud & general happiness

2007-04-26T17:58:00.000+08:00

General happiness because a "lost" package came back to mama! Mailed a pair of earrings to the wrong address, thankfully there was no such unit number so it got returned back. Although it did take quite a while and some panicking. But the really strange thing is when I called up Singpost, I got 2 different stories as to how long it'll take to return and retrieval. Thankfully I waited it out and it's back, better still all intact, without any breakages especially since it contained a pair of fragile cubic zirconia teardrop beads. -phew- I finally feel the weight lifted off now.

I stopped blogging daily or so often coz I've started to run out of topics, besides telling you what I did in my day which is so full of mundane stuff and even I find repetitive, I don't think you'd ever enjoy reading it again and again. Neither do I find joy in typing similar stuff again, although I've been known to repeat how I'm late for my assignment deadlines. Lol. Anyway, that's not the point. Point is, I scour for blogs to read daily, I read the newspapers, damninteresting.com, and many other readable materials i can lay my hands on. Ok I'm losing my train of thought, oops. Erm.. yah, i read blogs and sometimes i find it boring and some of these posts well pretty normal, but yet i keep reading it. I suppose it's the curiosity of what's happening in the other person's life on a daily basis. Is it because we're disconnected from the real world and seek to 'connect' online or what? Or am i just plain bored and have too much free time on my hands. At this point in time please do not remind me that I still have a tokyo post to put up, it's half way through the 1st day, patience my dears. =p

On to other, to me not very, mundane stuff. I've got a new $9.90 Logitech keyboard that's really silent and black. So now I can mug through the night without worrying that I'm typing too loud while Jon's sleeping. Or maybe I should just stop procrastinating then I don't have to work through the night. Anyway I'm happy because i'm finally getting rid of the trusty compaq keyboard that came with my old Compaq PC, which means getting rid of an almost 6yrs worth of germ-filled input device. Now, how about a sleek and black LCD monitor to match my black (and tinges of silver) casing, mouse, speakers and spanking new keyboard. Ooh, maybe a cool black and silver table too.

Off to dinner at Timbre and maybe some drinks, that'll be nice.

Ding Dong 2 sides of a bell

2007-04-18T02:32:00.000+08:00

Tried to search online for info to substantiate my attempts to withdraw cash into this investment program. Turned out to be nightmarish, lots of people scream scam and people say it's a good HYIP. Who do you listen to? My plan right now? Is if possible, since the biggest problem is withdrawing the cash, put the money in, run and go. If it's a scam as they say, i'll just "scam" them back. Now I feel less sure, and if I leave my dad to do the research, it's as good as NO. But like many of those who scream scam, they've not put in any cash. They're just screaming scam on the sidelines without having been scammed before. So really who do you believe? I think i've got my logical answer out of this. If it is then so be it. Not like many of those who invest their money don't lose their earnings + capital + more losses. At least the risk of this is your capital, which in my POV is really low, compared to the common who "invest" and lose more money beyond their capital. Maybe Che Fedward can enlighten me.

Brings to mind a comment my mum passed with regards to this quarrel that 2 of my friends had. After hearing 1 side of the argument and as I'm not really close to the other, I chose to "side" one of them. Or rather I haven't heard the other side of the argument since I'm not close to the other girl (someone whom I had barely known before the argument came about, so i don't think I'm in a position to be nosey parker.) Then my mum said maybe you should find out what the other person has to say so you know who's telling the truth before picking a side or something to that extent. This statement is so flawed in reality. If i'm really lucky and both of them really do tell me the truth, they'll not align due to their own perspectives of the situation. So I am screwed once. If anybody tells a lie, I won't be able to know either and how would you then decide who's telling the truth and then pick a side? Screwed twice. So conclusion, same as above para, chose one option and run with it.

Who really knows what's real and what's not? It is subjective afterall, so might as well base it on your own rather than everyone else's opinions. You can't have everything your way anyway.

Crimes of the different sort

2007-04-17T14:04:00.000+08:00

Was reading the paper earlier about Mathilda Chua famous from the NKF saga who is facing another civil case. Frankly speaking if you ask me, as an employer I would most likely hire someone who's committed what I term blue collar crimes. Shoplifting, burglary, rape, etc. I know very stereotypical but, I feel that it's easier to see whether they have repented and changed as compared to someone who commits fraud and signs company cheques to their own accounts. I suppose the difference is that they committed it against their own company, whereas the "blue collar crimes" were directed others. Frankly I feel, these people are pretty dumb, as I don't think I'm the only one with such an inclination. It would take a lot for an employer to take that leap of trust and give you a position. So you're pretty much screwed for life. Especially since most of them commit the crime in their middle age, around 30+, go to jail and serve for 2-3 years. So by the time you get out of jail, you're in your late 30s if you're lucky, otherwise in your 40s. Woohoo, prime time to get a job. Wonderful. Alternatively you can consider a career switch and lie to get your new job. Well moral of the story, if you wanna do something like that, don't get caught, otherwise don't do it at all.

I've stopped musing about socio-political stuff for a while. Been busy. Yes and the long awaited Tokyo post. Bleah. I'll go work on it or smtg.

Phantom of the Opera

2007-04-10T14:28:00.000+08:00

Decked out in our sunday best we headed to the Esplanade for THE musical. Do you know how much I love the musical? Lol. Well that's also the reason why Jon got the tickets for us for my V-day present. I've watched the movie twice and now the musical once. Ok it doesn't sound fanatic compared to those who've watched Titanic 7 times for Leonardo Dicaprio, but I'm a person who rarely likes watching movie twice so it's quite a number for me. A wonderful experience I must say, since it's my first time watching a musical. The powerful sopranos, makes the cd experience totally incomparable. When I listen to the cd after the musical, I wish I have the money to catch it again. Sigh. But I got the necklace and program guide as keepsakes. =)

Bits Bytes & Bobs

2007-04-07T22:03:00.000+08:00

My comp is dead and well like Jesus resurrected. Although it did take a longer time. Transferring the data from my old HDD. However my main HDD produces a blue screen which kinda means SHITE! in a big way. Coz all my important stuff are in that HDD. Although I did a backup recently, but argh I'd definitely prefer to have all my stuff back again. Sigh. But yay new computer. Fast, fast, fast. Well not exactly top of the line. But pretty good enough for me. =)

Specs
Intel Core 2 Duo E6400 (2.13Ghz)
Intel DQ965GF mobo
2 x 1GB Corsair Ram
2 x 160GB SATA Seagate HDD (RAID 1? *chuckles*)
HEC PSU (very neat and cool!)
Samsung 18x DVD Writer
Total Damage = $1050

Now if only I had a new graphics card and LCD monitor. That'll be the best. But of course that'll ratchet the damage up to about 1.6K which would be similar to the prices of the branded PCs but of course with poorer specs. Other interesting stuff? Hmm.. Attended a wedding of my aunt this afternoon. Loved the simple gown and both the bride and groom looked really good. They're going for their honeymoon first before having the traditional chinese wedding dinner. Actually this is a better option than being so harried and knackered from all the prep and sabo-ing over the wedding dinner and arriving for your honeymoon conked out and dead. Kinda wastes a few days just trying to be rested enough to enjoy and soak up the sights. Now who said breaking conventions was bad. Boo to you.

Tomorrow's Phantom of the Opera night!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Lalalalalalalalala. Lol. Thank you baby! I'm absolutely tired after the whole running about with 4hrs of sleep in my sleep bank, think I'll head to bed soon. Lots of stuff to sort out with the comp, Earring Addict, my room and all.

Bumble Bee

2007-03-22T14:39:00.000+08:00

Yep busy times ahead for me. Bazaar on sunday, Tokyo trip next tuesday til friday. Come back to rush a 40minute presentation for 4th April. But i love this buzz, I haven't had it in a long time. I'm glad I chose to go on the trip otherwise i'd most prob slack my ass away the whole week as well. But going on this trip means bead shopping in one place rather than two, unless my mum goes to Australia. Maybe I can try cajoling my dad to buy beads, but I'm not too sure of his taste. The original plan was my parents going to HK & Japan next week and sometime soon we'll head to OZ land as a family. I don't think we can afford to go for two holidays, neither would my schedule, although, I don't think I'll care. Haha. But oh well it's all settled I suppose, hopefully it's fun, land of fresh sushi and sashimi and nihonjin. Caught some sun earlier and swam a bit, back to work. =) This hardworking phase is partially bouyed by the good grades I received in one of my assignments. *cross fingers and toes* for the other assignments.

300 x 2 - 150

2007-03-16T23:07:00.000+08:00

Caught 300 again, but an annoying couple had to go on about the movie and have their small little conversation. Of course the best has to come from the guy who right before the someone gets killed he says, "confirm he'll die" then when someone a spear is shot at someone he goes "aiyah he won't die one" Hey thanks man for reading into the plot so well that you can forecast the story's next movie. I've watched the show already and you don't hear me giving you a running synopsis right before what happens. Thank you very much for spoiling it for me. I don't understand why some people can't reign in their mouths for that 2 hours and absolutely HAVE to talk, not whisper, talk about what's going on in the show. Obviously your id is very much in control rather than your ego/superego. The girlfriend of course happily chirps along. Like what Cheryl says they need to have a MUTE button on them. Totally no volume control. Yikes.

Announcements/Broadcast/Communication/Declaration/Exposition

2007-03-15T22:45:00.000+08:00

One of my darlings gave me a spare digicam that she had and I love it very much! It's slim, light and so good to use. Therefore the constant carrying it around, which means more frequent updates to my photoblog *cross fingers that I don't get too busy* It scores really great when I use the flash which would whitewash the background without affecting the subject taken, while the sony always had a problem with that. However when it comes to macro shots the sony edges out in that department, problem is you don't get clear sunny skies everyday. So I've got the perfect solution one covers the cons of the other. Hahaha. =) Thanks babe! *hugs* Had dinner with xinyi, emi & jason and found out jason's poly classmate's my sec sch classmate and her father is xinyi's boss. What a small small world.

Other exciting news would be that I'll be having a stall at the Balcony Bar next sunday, 25th March. I'll be there from 11am - 6pm. If you're in town or something pop by and say hi! =) Contemplating a pair of lindstrom pliers next. Hehehehehe.