Monday, September 27, 2004
Whenever my wounds seem like they're healing, i'll cut it, peel it and see the blood flow again. How many times have i done this? Many times, I've lost count. Just like emotionally, i like to do that. Don't ask me why i do it. The pain that's caused by me sometimes makes me feel like i'm alive and feeling. Otherwise i just seem to drift through with not much emotions. Sometimes u want to trust a person, and then u stretch out your hand but shrink back again. you push you pull but deep inside what you really wanted was that someone to pull you over and say that it's alright you'll be safe here. I can't say i've trusted many, although on the outside i try, really hard. But i think i've tried too hard that i'm tired. I just want to give up.
I keep hearing people with trust issues, people who're keeping to themselves, have we all turned cynical? In our 20s, when we have a long way ahead of us, maybe we should just try to trust one another and open up and feel the hurt to feel human again. Because it hurts me more to see people around me shutting themselves up. I don't feel their joys, their pain, their happiness, their sadness. That's what hurts more to me.
Unknown at 1:31 am